Read these cheating horror stories and REJOICE in the fact you’re single
‘I didn’t know he was a porn star’
by Una Dabiero
It seems like there's one thing guys love to do more than anything else: stick their dick in things and not tell us. Honestly, if you've dated a guy before, you probably have a cheating story. Seriously, it seems like a formula. You see a guy, you talk, you fuck for a while, then he tells you he fucked your best friend because he has trust issues since his 10th grade girlfriend broke his heart. Serious baggage for a 27-year-old, you know?
All cheating is pretty horrific, but some stories go beyond Johnny having a one night stand after a long night of Jack at the bar.
Here are babe readers' worst cheating horror stories so bad, they'll make you happy to be single:
The girl whose boyfriend slept with her virgin best friend
"My boyfriend cheated on me with five girls. Three were one-night-stands. But one of them was a side chick and another one was my VIRGIN BEST FRIEND. She didn't tell me, and we were friends until I cut her off just for making out with a guy I liked after I had broken up with the cheater. As you would guess, I was livid when I finally found out they were sleeping together."
The guy who invited her over while he was fucking someone else
"My friend has been with this guy for like six months. Last weekend, she left a party because he invited her to come over and smoke. She walked into his house, went to his room, and opened the door while he was MID-THRUST fucking another girl. He literally invited her over while he was fucking someone else."
The girl who was called 'just a cousin'
"I found a iMessage on his laptop from a girl who’s number wasn’t saved. He and I had been on holiday with his FAMILY the month before and there was a picture of him and I asleep in the back of the car. This girl had sent it to him with the caption: “'Who is this girl?! I knew you were seeing someone else!!!'” He replied: "'What are you talking about? That’s my cousin.'" That’s right, he said I, his GIRLFRIEND, was his cousin."
The guy who slept with…lots of hookers
"I dated this awful guy for about three years. We were having trouble in our relationship and suddenly I got a text from him announcing that he's going to backpack Europe. We're still together when he leaves, and I had a horrible feeling after about a week because he wasn't communicating with me. When I asked if he cheated, he got furious at me and kept saying how hurt he was that I accused him of cheating. After the trip, this asshole returns home and lives in my apartment for two months because he "'has nowhere to go.'" Well, I discovered while he was in Europe he cheated on me with multiple hookers and didn't even get tested before returning home."
The girl who didn't know he was a porn star
"So, I met this guy through a friend at a party. He was like, insanely hot and told me he was a model. We started talking more and more before we started officially dating. Our relationship was mostly long distance because I lived in D.C. and he lived in Miami. He was always traveling for "'photoshoots,'" so we didn't visit each other too much. Still, we were exclusive. One day, our mutual friend was really mad at him. So the friend called me and was like, "'You know what? I should have showed you this before.'" He sent me a link to a porn site and told me to type in "'Cody,'" and a weird last name. A BUNCH of stuff comes up of my ex. After all of this, I called him and was like "'Sup, CODY!'" He hung up and we never talked again."
The guy who pretended his grandpa wasn't dead
"I dated my ex for five years. Towards the end of our relationship, he told me he needed to visit his grandpa over the weekend. He didn't come back on the day he was supposed to, and he wasn't answering my texts, so I asked a friend what he was up to. She said he had gone to Montreal for the weekend with another girl. I had caught him texting this other girl a few weeks before, so I got suspicious. I told my exes' cousin the story and asked if he thought they were together in Montreal. The cousin told me his grandpa was dead and he was probably sleeping with someone else. That's right: my boyfriend lied about visiting the his deceased grandpa to go cheat on me."
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If there's one thing all men are great at, it's sending mixed-signals. Dudes are pretty useless when they're actually talking to you one-on-one. But after a break-up, when communication is muddy and you're trying to figure out what he's thinking from stalking his Facebook pictures and analyzing his tweets, it can be especially tough to…