There’s a major rape fantasy sub-culture out there that’s pretty intense
Kinky or taboo?
It's been estimated that 90 per cent of women have admitted to having sexual fantasies. Those imagined scenarios can range from the cheesy to the taboo. A surprising portion of those women revealed that they have fantasized about being "forced into sex," according to Psychology Today. Sexual assault and rape are horrific things that happen to far too many people. So why are rape fantasies so common?
For the record, your sexual fantasies are entirely your business so there's absolutely no shaming. They're solely for you and there's nothing wrong with them.
This isn't new
The Internet has really allowed people to explore their fantasies without judgement. There's an entire section of Tumblr dedicated to forced sex. One woman documented her experience for Vice about when she attempted to fulfill her rape fantasy with a male escort. She searched through escort websites, but ended up finding her date on Craigslist in 2007.
Rape fantasies may have found a platform to thrive on via the Internet, but they've been a part of women's sexual daydreams long before the web. Nancy Friday made waves when she published My Secret Garden in 1973. The book is an anthology of women's sexual fantasies that she compiled from friends and strangers.
One of the books most vivid and shocking entries came from Nancy's acquaintance Joanna. Her fantasy was actually her memory of being raped at knife-point in her house in Mexico City. "You could say that my inner sexual life still revolves around the rape," she wrote.
Essentially, psychologists have labeled three different reasons fantasize about rape or forced sexual encounters.
The first is "sexual blame avoidance." After centuries of being told sexuality is a bad thing, it's no surprise many women feel guilty for wanting sex. In order to combat this innate sense of shame, some fantasize about being raped. They don't feel as bad because it was a forced and they didn't choose it, even in their fantasy.
The next one is basically like your romance novel fantasy. It's all about "sexual desirability." You're just so hot that he has to have you. His desire for this chosen woman is so intense that he becomes "assaultive," according to Psychology Today.
Finally there's the "openness" that many women now feel about their sexuality. They understand that what they fantasize about doesn't mean they want to experience it in real life. The fantasy life is a private place where anything you can envision is possible so these ladies push it to the max.
Dr. Susan Block noted that people crave balance in their lives and that can be expressed through dominating rape fantasies. "They take a mini vacation from real life stress and the responsibility of being in charge," she wrote on Alternet.