This app will answer the age-old question: Are you pretty, average, or straight-up ugly?
Try it on your friends
You'd think the amount of likes we get on Instagram or the amount of VSCO followers we have would be enough to suffice but for some reason the more reassurance we get, the more insecure we all seem to be.
Someone comments on our gram tellings us we look "🔥🔥🔥" and suddenly we're self-conscious about our outfit. Someone else slides into our DMs with a "😍😍😍" and it sends us tail-spinning into an existential shower crisis unsure about whether they like us or like-like us. And the insecurities kind of snowball from there.
So, we went in search of an app that could cure us of our self-doubts once and for all, and boy did we find one. Hot O Meter is the honest friend you never wanted, but definitely need. Here's how it assessed us a few of us:
Okay yeah, we all saw this one coming. We've got a very symmetrical face, we've mastered the pout and there's the subtle glow to match.
Full disclosure, I didn't even want our social editor Peyton involved, but one of us needed to bite the bullet and be the hot one. We didn't need the app to tell us that, though, and now I'm even more resentful.
Let's break this one down, shall we?
I'm not quite sure what happened here except babe editor Amanda does ask at least twice a day whether or not one of her eyes is turned further inward than the other, so it could be that. We always tell her no, but she doesn't seem quite convinced and now it'll probably be even worse.
This one is also a bit of a mystery also, but Katie, one of our staff writers, could just be high in this picture — she loves weed, y'all.
I've literally never seen her smile like this, so it's a bit off-putting. It could just be obscuring an otherwise very normal photo of her and throwing off the app a bit.
It was at this point that I realized the app was bullshit because, duh, Rachel literally looks like a sunflower was transformed into a woman like some sort of plant-based fairytale.
This . . . makes sense. I'm not sure why I look so sweaty in this picture? It could be the leather jacket in spring or the hat indoors, but it was never going to be a good look for a humid subway ride to work. God only knows why I documented it. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Caroline is literally gorgeous, I wanna die).
My eyebrows were also disappeared during this blonde hair phase, and I looked washed out about 99.99 percent of the time.
All that aside, I'd like to say I'm stronger than allowing an app's approval or disapproval of my looks to weigh super heavily on my emotions, but it's going to take me at least a few hours to come to peace with this one.
I guess the only way to remedy my feelings is by trying it out on a ton of my friends and hoping some of them are "dogs," too, so I can drag them down with me.
Us uglies gotta stick together in this harsh, judgmental app filled world.
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