The saying goes that in order to hate something, you have to truly understand it. But I'm here to tell you that's 100 percent false, because I've only seen a few episodes of beloved sitcom Friends and I still hate the shit out of it.
I know this isn't a hot take, and I don't care. Try to fight me in the comment section and I absolutely won't respond.
And no, it's not about the fact that if I wanted to listen to white people complain about their lives incessantly, I'd watch any television show made before 2014. It's not about the fact that they all had an inexplicable amount of free time and money and apartment space given their careers.
Sex and the City has like, the exact same plot holes and I stan for that show all day.
I don't like Friends because I don't think it's funny and because I think it holds a mirror up to our worst friendship impulses and makes them look like lovable quirks.
Hey, what are Guy Who Is Negative, Nervous Woman and Woman Who Makes Everything About Her up to tonight? We should go grab drinks. Oh, don't forget to call the Tall Nerd, Actor Who Flirts and the Weird One! I hope the Weird One brings her ukulele. You just never know what she'll get up to!
Every single main Friend would be annoying as shit in real life on their own, and the thought of being at a party with all six of them at once makes me want to set myself on fire. Literally the only cool thing about any of them is the fact that Ross is a paleontologist, and that's repeatedly played for Big Bang Theory-style laughs throughout the series' run.
I also don't like the fact that Friends wants us to not only believe that a Rachel would end up with a Ross, but that we should actively hope that that happens.
The fastest way to figure out whether or not you should ghost someone is to tell a story that involves someone taking a break from something, literally anything on God's green earth. And if they respond, "We were on a BREAK!" then you need to not only lose their number, you need to burn the clothes you were wearing when you met them and cross yourself every time you see a woman with choppy layers wearing a turtleneck.
I'm not naive. I don't expect every television show I watch to be a realistic depiction of anyone's day-to-day life. But I do expect every television show to give me an experience more pleasurable than going to the laundromat and frankly that just isn't what Friends delivers.
Friends paved the way for some truly garbage, cookie-cutter sitcoms that gripped our national consciousness until Mad Men ushered in the era of prestige TV, which is more pretentious but also infinitely more watchable.
It destroyed Matthew Perry, and the only good thing about the entire series was how visible Jennifer Aniston's nipples were the entire time. It belongs in the canon of Bad 00s Things like visible thongs, flip flops and shitting on Britney Spears. Let it die.
Chris Brown is now coming for Ariana Grande, and I feel actually sick to my stomach
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