These women revealed why they’re into rape fantasies
It’s all about control and consent
In one study, 90 percent of women admitted to having thought about engaging in sexual fantasies, according to Psychology Today. A large number of those women revealed they've envisioned a "forced sex" situation. Rape fantasies are a fairly common sexual daydreams. It's still a really taboo topic, but there's actually a thriving "rapekink" subculture on social media sites like Reddit and Tumblr. Babe chatted with three Reddit users about why they're into rape fantasies and if they've ever role-played their kinks.
All about losing control
"What I like about rape fantasies is the loss of control," one Reddit user said. She added that it's a totally different mindset when you're doing something that you're actually consenting to. She said that letting go draws a lot of women to fantasize about being forced into sex. "A lot of women tend to be control freaks," she told Babe. "Losing that control is the ultimate taboo, and exploring that fantasy with someone you trust can be very intense."
She and her boyfriend have even tried "light rape [role] play." The experience really worked for them. "It's great to play when I can trust him to stop and not to hurt me too much," she said. Obviously communication and trust in her partner is a key so she feels safe.
All about being ravished
Another Reddit user said she doesn't even use the term "rape fantasy." "I now tend to refer to 'rape fantasy' play as 'con-non-con' play (which stands for consensual non-consent)," she told babe.
She initially was drawn in by the books she read. She was fascinated by the "grey area" surrounding consent in erotic novels. The user said she loved scenes "where the women initially says, 'no,' but the guy convinces her otherwise and they end up having mind blowing sex."
The Reddit user revealed she brought these fantasies into the bedroom with her boyfriend and they've tried a few different scenarios. "One time was when I had him pretend to be an intruder. Other times I just like him to be really rough, like picking me up and throwing me onto the bed, ripping off all my clothes, and fun stuff like that," she said. It's really brought out an entirely new side of her boyfriend. "He is very gentle and sweet," she told babe. "It is a lot of fun seeing a whole other darker side of him." She enjoys the surprise, struggle, and the "freeing" aspect of being "powerless."
She explained that her fantasies don't extend outside her relationship. "I never fantasize about strangers, only about my boyfriend," she said.
All about being possessed
Jessa, 30, said she loved being seized by someone in her fantasy. "In that moment, I am totally theirs," she told babe. "Completely possessed and helpless against their force." She thought that the anticipation was another thrilling part of the experience.
The lack of control and flirting with something dangerous also drew Jessa in. "It's giving up control to the desire you've been told to cross the street to avoid," she said. It's "allowing your limits to be steamrolled especially ones you didn't even know you had."
Her fascination started when she was still really young. She explained that sex wasn't discussed in her house, which only made her more curious. "As a kid, I was always looking at the sex entry of encyclopedias and dictionary. I'd reread the sexual abuse scenes in my parents' books," Jessa said. "The accounts both made me curious and relieved that I had never went through that." Jessa even revealed that she had overheard her cousin crying on the phone "about a guy not stopping when she told him, 'no.'"
Jessa has an interest in exploring rape play, but her long-term boyfriend wasn't really into it. She brought it up once and "he appeared to like the idea," but they never talked about it again. "I believe that he is deeply afraid of hurting me," she told babe. They've compromised a little bit. Jessa said her boyfriend sometimes holds her arms down "while we make out" and lightly spanks her. "The baby steps are good for now," she told us.
Jessa's name has been changed to protect her identity.