Dan and Blair were the only good couple on Gossip Girl, and I have legitimate proof
Fuck Blair and Chuck
by Amanda Ross
I know this is going to bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "unpopular opinion", but I'm not afraid. Like a solider or a failed presidential candidate, I'm in the trenches fighting for what I believe in. Us Blair-Dan shippers are stronger, more powerful, and more persecuted than any branch of the armed forces, though. I'm just going to say it:
Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey belonged together, and they were the best — and only good — couple on the show. Link arms with me and let's stroll through the vast museum of evidence I've gathered.
They were the most compatible
Blair and Dan were the smartest characters on the show, a fact which they showed off every chance they got with lighting-fast, reference-heavy dialogue sarcastic and slick enough to make even the Gilmore Girls ask for translator. They were both well-versed in and fascinated by art, literature and film, a major bonding point for them and honestly, a marker of a great budding relationship.
Blair and Dan (Blan? Dair?) were the only two Constance-St. Jude's pairing who could intellectually satisfy each other. And what's more? They knew it. They were both major snobs and thought everyone else was a fucking moron. I mean, they weren't wrong. But still.
Perhaps the most important part of their bind, though, is that were both self-made. Yes, I know Blair stands to inherit millions from her Diane Von Furstenberg mother and Hot Gay Dad, but she fought (sometimes unfairly) for every opportunity she got — unlike some perfectly coiffed blondes I know. Same goes for Dan. He was the show's token peasant, but wound up the "ultimate insider" by the time he was finally exposed as Gossip Girl.
Their relationship evolved over time
They had what, four or five seasons to develop their bond? When we first encounter Blan, they're at each other's throats. Through sheer proximity and shared love of both black-and-movies with subtitles and bailing Serena out of trouble, they realized that they were both kind-of-sort-of pure of heart and on the same playing field intellectually.
What did Serena and Dad have in common other than Dan was so obsessed with her hotness that he wanted to cut off her skin and wear it? Same goes for Blair and that jackass Chuck. Their only bond was through sexual espionage and contests to see who could talk the quietest. Actual relationships take more than a two-episode arc to develop.
Chuck and Serena were both total trash
Chuck was definitely a rapist on the show — and is accused of being one in real life too — but everyone just conveniently forgot about this? Like he literally tried to physically hold both Jenny and Serena down but it was totally chill after season one. And this is just the tip of the iceberg with shitbag behavior.
Remember when he tried to pimp Blair out in exchange for a hotel like she was literally property? Remember when he more or less fully emotionally abused and manipulated her throughout the entire series? Yeah. Despite what emo tumblr pictures and this show might tell you, love isn't supposed to be a Dante's Inferno-style journey through assorted circles of infidelity hell to maybe-possibly-someday get to a peaceful Elysium. Got it? Cool.
Serena's transgressions were less criminal and more selfish, but lengthy enough to earn her an entire article dedicated to her sucking — read it here.
Who keeps giving Lena Dunham dogs?
Hi, 911? I’d like to report a crime
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Watch this man shock his dick off by putting it in an electrical outlet and tell me again why men are in charge of anything
It’s called ‘guy electrocutes his population rod’
by Harry Shukman
If you want to watch a short video of a man putting his dick into an outlet until it shocks him and he howls with pain, then it's your lucky day! Here is that video: Some highlights: – The moment the man thumbs his wang right into the socket– The huge spark of electricity that occurs upon…