There’s a new proposed law to make glitter illegal, but I’m not going down without a fight

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There’s a new proposed law to make glitter illegal, but I’m not going down without a fight

Absolutely fucking not!

Some very un-lit scientists, apparently determined to turn the world into a shimmer-free hellscape, have deemed glitter a "global hazard," even going as far as recommending that "all glitter be banned" — and I'm furious.

Glitter is allegedly an environmental hazard because it's made of microplastics, the same reason that many countries like the United States have already imposed a ban on microbeads.

It's particularly easy for glitter to enter the ocean due to its small size and presence in washable cosmetics. Fish and other marine animals can even mistake glitter for food, which can result in glitter ending up in the seafood that we end up eating. And that's… bad, definitely.

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But that being said, if there's no glitter then how the fuck am I going to let my friends know that I'm particularly down to get wasted on a Saturday night? Glitter is an essential element of any party-friendly look, and an excellent visual reminder that I am a beacon of light to those around me.

The end of glitter means that the only makeup finish we're going to be left with is matte. Matte. Excuse me, am I at a fucking job interview?

The world is already on fire. If it's not environmental collapse, it'll be nuclear war or some kind of antibiotic resistant super plague.

The apocalypse is coming, people, and I'd rather die gleaming than live muted.

@k80way

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