There’s a new proposed law to make glitter illegal, but I’m not going down without a fight
Absolutely fucking not!
by Katie Way
Some very un-lit scientists, apparently determined to turn the world into a shimmer-free hellscape, have deemed glitter a "global hazard," even going as far as recommending that "all glitter be banned" — and I'm furious.
It's particularly easy for glitter to enter the ocean due to its small size and presence in washable cosmetics. Fish and other marine animals can even mistake glitter for food, which can result in glitter ending up in the seafood that we end up eating. And that's… bad, definitely.
But that being said, if there's no glitter then how the fuck am I going to let my friends know that I'm particularly down to get wasted on a Saturday night? Glitter is an essential element of any party-friendly look, and an excellent visual reminder that I am a beacon of light to those around me.
The end of glitter means that the only makeup finish we're going to be left with is matte. Matte. Excuse me, am I at a fucking job interview?
The world is already on fire. If it's not environmental collapse, it'll be nuclear war or some kind of antibiotic resistant super plague.
The apocalypse is coming, people, and I'd rather die gleaming than live muted.
Here’s every single time Blac Chyna has posed naked…which is pretty often
If she’s got it, why not flaunt it?
by Ari Bines
It's no secret that Blac Chyna nude pics came from the hoe goddesses…or a basement in Queens. However, you have to seriously give this exotic dancer a round of applause. All of Blac Chyna's plastic surgeries have paid off in her career. She's gotten her own spinoff from the Kardashians, has a stake in their…
Being called ‘cute’ is the worst thing in the world, and practically a hate crime
Why not just punch me in the face instead?
by Ari Bines
Whether it's Tinder, Bumble or PoF, every future fling is under the impression that I'm a fucking infant. No matter if I use a face-slimming Snapchat filter or if my underboob is on full display practically begging for attention, I always get hit with the most cringe-worthy compliment of them all: cute.Hot or sexy is…
Next time you lock your dumb ass out of your own apartment, get some good content out of it
Loitering is extremely in rn
by Erica Smith
When was the last time you locked yourself out of your fucking apartment? A week ago? Two days ago? Same! I get it: You were in a hurry, keys are hard to see, you did too many drugs too many weekends in a row and maybe those brain cells were important after all (jury's still…