Oh nah, bitch
If you haven’t caught up with the latest reality show mash-up of “Jersey Shore” and “Buckwild” that is MTV’s new “Floridabama”, then, girl you’re missing all the tea. For starters, the first episode is total trash — and we plan on tuning in every week.
The show’s premiere aired on MTV and similarly to almost all of MTV’s reality shows, the cast members live in a house together for the Summer to, of course, get hammered and get laid. Taking place in the Florida Panhandle along the beach that stretches all the way to Alabama (hence the name) the housemates’ first night is nothing less than a messy sitch.
With two bootleg Abercrombie models, a thick chick, a Panama City local, a chubby white dude, and two token black people (gotta meet that Q4 quota), the members are introduced as Gus, Codi, Jeremiah, Kirk, Nilsa, Candace, Aimee, and the messiest of them all, Kortni. I can’t with these names.
On move-in day, everyone claims their bedrooms and some acquire better roommates than others. Candace, the token black girl, and Kortni, the housemate who’s never left home before, room together and the pairing is a match made in hell.
Basically, this Kortni chick becomes too drunk to function and stays in while the rest of the housemates go out to attend whatever local hot spot to do whatever they can to take home their next, regretful, one night stand. Meanwhile, Kortni, in all her drunken glory gets up to take a piss mistaking the toilet for… Candace’s bed. Not to mention, she lays in it after not wiping up. Nasty!
The other housemates return to the crib, and only Jeremiah takes notice of the stain (and Kortni) on Candace’s bed and Candace is pretty chill about it, for the most part. But like #why?
Next time you think you’re having roommate problems, watch this premiere episode and humble yourself…or piss in her bed. But not really though. Here's the clip, you sick freaks: