Sorry, liking dogs, pizza and travel isn’t the same as having an actual personality
EVERYONE LIKES TRAVELING
by Katie Way
I'm starting the movement now: in 2018, we've gotta stop trying to make our interests into adjectives.
It's not bad to like stuff, and it's not bad to post about liking stuff, but you've gotta admit that it's kind of annoying when someone builds an entire persona around something generic and tries to claim it as their "thing."
Being nice, funny, thoughtful, creative — those are actual qualities. Your interests definitely say something about who you are, but I think it's high time we stop coasting on our love of…
no shade, but I think being obsessed w/ dogs in 2016 is the same thing as wearing a mustache necklace in 2012
— Olivia Craighead (@oliviacraighead) May 25, 2016
If I hear someone say the word "doggos" unironically in 2018 I am walking out on the spot. Of course you like dogs, they're amazing and they're everywhere. Save it for Facebook groups or the strangers you harass on the street while they're trying to get their labradoodle to take a shit.
It's a universally beloved food. A sleepover staple. A classic incentive to attend a meeting for the club you only joined so you could put it on your resumé. We don't need to talk about it.
Eating in general
Being sentient and dependent on your body isn't a unique quirk because it's literally a universal human experience. You need to eat food to not die. Plus, acting special because you love food can actually make people who struggle with eating disorders feel like shit. Doesn't mean you can't 'gram your boozy brunch, just some food… for thought.
I love smoking weed. holy shit, when I smoke nuggets boy. When I smoke a fucking nugget, grind that shit up. Wait let me finish. This weed shit, it gets me so fucked up, this weed shit it is next level boy. I do not care how I smoke it, just let me have it, gotta get that nugget
— Krispy Scream (@mitchysuch) November 28, 2017
Smoking weed doesn't make you an interesting person, it just means you have a disposable income and a job that doesn't piss test. I'm all for being regaled with stories about the time you and your friends ate an edible and then called 911 because you thought you were going to die, but if you don't have anything else going on then maybe you should smoke less.
Music is my life. The lyrics are my story.
— Relationship ♡ (@ohteenquotes) November 30, 2017
It's actually way more interesting not to like music than it is to be into it at this point, and that's a hill I'm willing to die on.
Oh, you like going to a new place, eating delicious food and relaxing? That's so cool! I've never met anybody else who enjoys learning about new cultures and having experiences. Please, tell me more about your train ride from Berlin to Amsterdam. Saying that "everybody NEEDS to backpack through Europe in their early 20s" doesn't make you sound unaware of most people's financial reality at all!
me: i hate yoga
him: i love yoga
— steven reyes somosa (@alejqa) December 1, 2017
I get it! It's really fun, good exercise, and great for improving flexibility, but that doesn't mean you need to corner me at this party and talk to me about your "practice." Save it for the #namaste hashtag.
The pop culture of previous decades
Congratulations, you have a Alanis Morissette playlist on Spotify. Only a true 90s kid will remember why I blocked the phrase "only a true 90s kid will remember" from my Twitter feed.
Wtf y’all tweet about? I don’t even know how to use twitter anymore. Seems like it’s just memes. Everything is just memes now and i hate it. Y’all uninterested unless it’s a meme.
— Sound Boy (@apedrums) November 27, 2017
This one hits me where it hurts, but unfortunately liking memes is mainstream now. Memes are a pillar of millennial humor, and 13-year-olds on Instagram are already better at them than most of us will ever be. As soon as that shit hit Facebook, it was over.
Partying is tight, but talking about partying is dramatically less so. Whether you're bragging out getting into an exclusive club or recounting how absolutely plastered you were at formal 2 years ago, if I wasn't there and you didn't meet a celebrity, I don't give a fuck. It's like telling someone else about the dream you had last night, but with an even more incoherent narrative.
I like to party, and by party I mean watch Netflix
— *sarcastic emoji* (@ThinkSarcasm) November 16, 2017
The only thing worse than someone who's obsessed with going out is someone who's obsessed with the fact that they don't like going out. We get it, you've read a book and get anxious in overwhelming situations. Maybe use some of the time you spend in the prison of sobriety to generate a few original opinions? Just a thought!
Introducing the Hair Straightener Tongue Challenge…I think….
Tracing its origins
by Harry Shukman
Hard to explain what makes anyone willingly put themselves through extreme pain for clout (this guy who shocked his dick off by thumbing it into an electrical socket, for instance), and yet here we are with a new trend tentatively named the Hair Straightener Tongue Challenge.Like the other 18 million people who have seen this…
Why did Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson break up? An investigation
Let’s be real, this relationship was never going to work out
by Nian Hu
So Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson broke up this weekend, surprising absolutely nobody. Who would've thought that a whirlwind five-month-long PDA-fueled relationship between an unfunny butthole-eyed corpse-looking dude and a world-famous pop star who was WAY out of his league could've possibly worked out? The question was never if they would break up, but when.The…
Your weekly horoscope is here, and you have to start thinking about yourself
When did you last take some me time?
by Codi Cheyenne
Coming at you live with some compassionate, authentic realness. Last week was a trip, stirring up the old and bringing about much needed change. You may have been challenged, making you question yourself and how you interact with the world. When that happens, we need some guidance on how find our footing again, so here…