QUIZ: Build a Hallmark Christmas movie and we’ll tell you which daddy to bring home for the holidays
Give me Mark Ruffalo or give me death
by Una Dabiero
It's December, which means girls 18 and 98 alike are spending all of their free time drinking wine and and masturbating under their Christmas quilt to Hallmark Christmas romances and their false depictions of straight men who aren't complete shit.
Wouldn't your dull, real-life romance be so much better if it was with a hot Dad like Jeff Goldblum? I would say yes. Build a Hallmark movie and we'll predict which hot Daddy you bring home for the holidays – at least in your dreams.
Here’s your complete 2018 horoscope
New year, new you, new love
by Caroline Phinney
2018 opens with a Mars/Jupiter conjunction in Scorpio, so it'll be the most energetic year we've had in a long time. And with energy comes the stamina to deal with all the romantic and emotional bullshit that'll come along with it.This will also be a year of progress and going after things we're afraid of,…
This is not satire: I 100 percent believe Jake Paul will be the president before we die
It’s Paul/Paul 2028, bro!
by Katie Way
I'm as happy as anybody else that a known pedophile didn't manage to snag a seat in Congress last night, but honestly, the American political sphere is still beyond fucked. Donald Trump, the star of a reality TV that wasn't even popular outside of a brief, crazy time in like, 2004 has been the president…
I asked finance bros on The League to explain Bitcoin to me
They were NOT helpful
by Katie Way
Bitcoin! It's everywhere, and I'm not totally sure what it is. I don't want to name names, but a fellow babe writer thought it was the currency from Farmville until like, yesterday. So that's where our newsroom is at in terms of the cryptocurrency wave. When I don't understand something, I usually try to do…