Here’s how likely you are to scream-cry at the bar based on your pregame drink of choice

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Here’s how likely you are to scream-cry at the bar based on your pregame drink of choice

‘I can’t do this anymore’

One thing that's consistent among girls is how high our expectations for a night out are, but we also take it with a grain of salt knowing it might end with wings in bed or a 6/10 instead.

But what we usually suppress as far as our poor, warped psyche will allow is the fact we'd be lucky to see it end with either of those things, because instead it'll almost definitely end with us drunk-cry-texting Mike from the communications department and letting him know we know what he did.

But the next time you go out you'll have science on your side, because a new study about how alcohol determines your mood has broken it all down for our cross-faded selves.

Spirits

Although vodka or gin are usually a go-to on a night out, and we avoid wine like the plague for fear of becoming emotional, this study shows spirits are the alcohol most heavily associated with "anger and tearfulness" despite being also most associated with feelings of "confidence and sexiness."

It only makes sense getting turned down, or dismissed via text, when we're feeling our hottest would hurt the most. Nothing another shot can't fix, am I right?

White wine

The study shows white wine was actually least often linked to tearfulness, with only 10 percent of participants saying they associated it with becoming weepy on a night out. So even though you might get some strange looks at the pregame, you'll be the one laughing in the end (or taking care of your sad friend).

Just don't order it at a dive bar, because it's embarrassing and makes it look like you've never been to a dive bar in your life.

Red wine

Red wine is slightly more likely to spark random waterworks than white, but nothing like the way gin or rum would.

Besides, you'll probably fall asleep before you're able to do anything too dramatic, because red wine is also the drink most commonly associated with "relaxation and sleepiness," according to 53 percent of participants.

Beer

Beer is also a pretty safe shout, with 50% of participants saying it makes them sleepy, "but only when they drink it at home," and almost no participants saying it makes them tearful.

Although I've definitely cried while drinking beer, so maybe all these "participants" are just emotionally stable robots?

Either way, the study also shows men are more likely to admit “feelings of aggression" when drinking in general (knew that), while women are more likely to admit “feeling various emotions,” hence this article about how not to cry your mascara off at your friend's 21st and end up ruining the entire night for her.

@carolinephinney

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