Your ass is about to get ‘holidated’ by your worst ex, so just preemptively block his number
Cheers to drunken mistakes
Whether or not hooking up over the holidays while visiting your hometown is a wise decision is irrelevant because you're going to have more important decisions to make. Like whether or not you should get back with your two-timing, no-good, fuck-face ex for example.
But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. According to a new study, the holidays are the time of the year exes regret splitting up most, and will begin to re-think "holidating" you. (Let's all be grateful for a moment that we finally have a dating trend with an enjoyable name.)
Face it, the holidays are shit for singles. It's fucking freezing and you've got no one to "warm up" with, drinking mulled wine alone is depressing and for every cousin's SO you meet, you'll have to come up with another self-deprecating joke about your obvious lack of a plus-one.
Ima be lonely again for the holidays, this shit depressing https://t.co/0DILyMiORF
— Hyphy Nas (@hyphynas) November 26, 2017
Which is precisely why even though your ex hasn't thought about you in literally six months, he'll suddenly be overcome with thoughts of you as his drunk uncle rails him about what happened to that girl he mentioned last year. What ever happened to her?
He'll text you something like, "Merry Christmas! 🎁 Long time no talk. How have you been?"
being single during the holidays is so depressing like can I just have a seasonal bf lmaoo
— 🥀 (@joannaaamariee) December 6, 2017
And because you're shit-faced off egg-nog and your stoner cousin Steve's stash, you'll probably ending up messaging back something like, "I miss you" — and the rest is history. Well, at least until January when you're both back to work and suddenly he isn't so "lonely" anymore.