2017 has been so fucking wild, you probably forgot all of this crazy stuff happened this year

The year 2017 has been a metaphorical McGangBang — crude, scary, and mostly disgusting. It was the first year of Donald Trump's presidency, the year Old Taylor died, and the year I started drinking coffee if that's interesting to literally anyone else.

Basically, a ton of new shit happened and it's impossible to keep track of all of it while maintaining the illusion of sanity.

Here are a few things that might have slipped through the cracks of your mental vase while you were busy memorizing the lyrics to Bodak Yellow, calling your representative and hoarding your birth control. Ah, nostalgia!

'Girls' ended

The show, not like, us. After five years of "brave" nudity, first-world problems and Brooklyn brownstones, the final season of Lena Dunham's critically acclaimed HBO comedy came and went in a generally satisfactory fashion.

There was a little half-assed controversy about a baby's ethnicity or something, but all and all the series wrapped up nicely. Unfortunately, that means Lena now has a lot more time to say stupid shit, but so it goes.

Katy Perry livestreamed herself for 96 hours for… whatever reason

Swish swish, bish. We got the chance to watch Katy Perry go to therapy, chat with RuPaul, play with her cute-ass dog and rank all her exes sexually in the name of… album promotion? I guess? I didn't actually watch any of it, to be honest. Did anyone?

But according to the tweet above she spent part of that time staring at an ant farm like a psychotic child, so now I kinda feel like I should have. I think she just wanted attention, which is totally understandable but also a little bit of a bummer. Sorry about the Grammy noms, Katy.

Kendall Jenner's Pepsi ad

When I remembered that this happened this year, my jaw dropped. Holy shit, you guys, how did we forget all about this so quickly?

I honestly think that Kris made Kylie get pregnant specifically to divert attention away from this PR disaster. I can't believe that Kendall Jenner's strategy to mend the incredibly damaged relationship between activists and police officers was handing a cop a fucking can of Pepsi!!!!!

Big Little Lies inspired us all to kill a man

God. And they just confirmed a second season. I want them to murder me this time!

We all got obsessed with the Snapchat hotdog

What the fuck was up with this? I definitely see the appeal, but looking back the fact that this dancing food dude was so ubiquitously popular is truly bizarre. I don't know if anybody else tried to explain this thing to an older relative, but I did and it made me mortally aware of the absurdism of the digital realm. Also, what song was the hotdog listening to? I need to know!

Lana Del Rey released an album

No shade intended! I love Lana because she soundtracked my high school relationship in a way that made me think of it as tragic and beautiful, even though it was actually just kind of annoying.

That being said, Lust For Life kinda flew under the radar and in my humble opinion, we should have talked about it more. So this is me talking about it. In My Feelings is an iconic sad-girl banger, and Lana is a hazy, gorgeous weirdo who should be protected at all costs.

Bella Thorne happened

For better or worse, she's beautiful, she's into rave culture and she's probably not going anywhere any time soon. You can't complain that she's famous for no reason — Bella's been in like five movies this year, and is also making a lot of music with the likes of Logan Paul and Borgore, but if that makes her happy then… good on her. Shine on, you grimy diamond.

Donald Trump looked directly at the eclipse

Like, right at it. I guess he's fine though. Also, the solar eclipse happened this year. That shit was nuts!

That Oscars mix-up happened

I fully believe that this moment was orchestrated to boost ratings for an awards show that has been steadily losing viewership for the past couple of decades, but that's none of my business. At least Moonlight won.

Astrology blew the fuck up

We all believe in everything now. Pass the motherfucking crystals! I think it's the logical reaction to the fact that the world is on fire, but the fact that I automatically respond to learning ANYONE'S zodiac sign with "Oh, that totally makes sense," is a sign that there's been a serious cultural shift. I'm an Aquarius and so is Gucci Mane. You're welcome.

Fidget spinners

First of all, you should watch that music video because it's a love letter to the spinners that captured our hearts and minds in 2017. Fidget spinners were like, all I thought about for a solid three weeks this year and now I don't even know where mine is anymore.

Those things were everywhere for a hot minute, and we were more focused as a population when they were. Since fidget spinners fell out of passion, I haven't been able to read more than a paragraph of text without getting hopelessly distracted. Tragic!

@k80way