I asked finance bros on The League to explain Bitcoin to me

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I asked finance bros on The League to explain Bitcoin to me

They were NOT helpful

Bitcoin! It's everywhere, and I'm not totally sure what it is.

I don't want to name names, but a fellow babe writer thought it was the currency from Farmville until like, yesterday. So that's where our newsroom is at in terms of the cryptocurrency wave.

When I don't understand something, I usually try to do some research online or ask a friend who's more informed than I am. But when it comes to bitcoin, I knew there was a wealth of information at my fingertips in the form of strange men online.

Because men love explaining bitcoin.

So I took to The League, which is Tinder for the bougie and choosey, and asked some financial wizards if they could help me dip my toes into the world's most popular cryptocurrency.

A lot of the guys I reached out to did not respond, which is totally fair. I'm not totally sure what bitcoin is, but I'm certain that it does not make most people horny.

It still kind of hurt my feelings though.

Some of the financial wizards on The League were, frankly, too smart to give their advice away for free. Or maybe they just googled me. Either way, I got absolutely nowhere.

I get it. I don't do work if I don't get paid either.

Dude, I eat chips and salsa for dinner sometimes. I bring nothing to the table.

Others were more forthcoming, but wanted to steer the conversation elsewhere which, again, I get. Nobody's horny for bitcoin.

Crowdsource? What do you mean? I'm only talking to you!

One guy actually made a pretty valiant effort to explain bitcoin to me. Unfortunately for him, not only is my dedication to ignorance strong, but my motives were… ulterior.

I'm not looking up shit!

I'm not even going to post the entire conversation, because it's a lot of jargon that I didn't look up, but you can watch me fumble if you want.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

Swing…

And a miss.

He stopped talking to me after I told him I didn't go to Berghain because the wait seemed too daunting. Sigh. His loss? My loss?

And then, of course, there were the guys who wanted to entice some face-to-face time with me in order to, I assume, properly explain whether or not the bubble is going to burst.

Technology killed romance.

Wow, he's French.

At the end of the day, I learned that even though it takes a really long time to get into The League, the guys on it aren't that different than the typical Tinder dude. They've got cushier jobs and a slightly better grasp on blockchain technology, but at the end of the day, they all want the same thing: for me to cut the shit and put out.

Sorry boys, but daytrade me some cryptocurrency first!

@k80way