Kylie Jenner’s GFF, Jordyn Woods, actually can’t model for shit
She looks constipated
by Ari Bines
Having been a follower of Ms. Jenner's Snapchat for quite some time now, I've come to the conclusion the youngest of the Kardashian Kult only shares one of four things on her Snap stories: her ugly-ass dogs, sneak peeks of the latest Kylie Cosmetic, herself and videos with girlfriend forever and half-assed model, Jordyn Woods.
“Jordyn Woods just became a model because she was bored and said what am I gonna do?” -Angelique
— Aztry (@aztry_bulnes) November 17, 2017
For those of you who have a life and don't spend as much time lurking on celebs as I do, Jordyn Woods is more than just Ky's social sidekick. Her mother Elizabeth Woods is also a Los Angeles socialite and talent/brand manager at Mixed Image Media/PR.
Needless to say, it's no wonder Jordy got a gig with Wilhelmina Models, having been childhood pals with Kylie with the black Kris Jenner mom to match.
Jordyn woods comes from money but always has a bad weave and can't model…?
— Kitty Foreman (@SlayBitch666) February 19, 2017
Anyway, while online shopping, I came to the conclusion that Jordyn (with a Y) Woods is physically incapable of modeling.
I scrolled through the curve/plus section of ASOS looking for an outfit for my next regretful one night stand, and there it was: my first real glimpse of her trying on a "look," and it's painful to say the least.
— Ari Bines (@AriBines) December 13, 2017
Firstly, what the fuck is up with the one-two-step shit?
And before you screech at me for attacking her, convinced I'm hacking away at the girl's career choice because I hate women, let me remind you all of how other professional plus-size models actually work it for the camera.
Is Jordyn even taking notes?
There is a certain level of acting and role play that comes into modeling.
Some may say it isn't hard, but if you'd ever had to do a photoshoot in a swimsuit in the middle of December prepping for next summer, you'd think otherwise.
Low-key, I could model better than her, and all I have is my sister, an iPhone 7 and a few pics of me with nothing but a killer outfit, makeup and a helluva lot of confidence.
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And then we have Jordyn Woods, ASOS Curve model
She's beautiful but she's no model. She looks uncomfortable and unnatural or like she needs to shit.
— sjp. (@sibajackpama) December 7, 2017
But I guess if dull-looking eyes and an electric slide move is all we need to make an astronomical amount of money, then sign me the fuck up.
Titty tees are so on-trend right now — here’s where to find the cutest ones
Get the Instagram influencer look
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Tap on over to your Instagram explore feed, and sandwiched between lipstick smashes and models lounging on yachts is the newest trend: titty tees. These cute, primary color tees with little boobies drawn on them are both a) badass and b) stylish as fuck. They're the perfect way to flaunt your femininity while reminding everyone…
QUIZ: Plan your ideal 2018, and we’ll tell you what your makeup aesthetic is
I’m a Glossier Girl, baby!
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Sorry, but Kendall Jenner can’t model for shit
Maybe she’s just bad at listening to directions…
by Katie Way
Kendall Jenner is amazing at posing for the kinds of pictures that earn more than a million likes on Instagram. Because of her, I am seriously thinking about buying a pair of those tiny sunglasses even though that shit is gonna look dumb as hell on me. But frankly, it's come to my attention that…