Kylie Jenner’s GFF, Jordyn Woods, actually can’t model for shit

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Kylie Jenner’s GFF, Jordyn Woods, actually can’t model for shit

She looks constipated

Having been a follower of Ms. Jenner's Snapchat for quite some time now, I've come to the conclusion the youngest of the Kardashian Kult only shares one of four things on her Snap stories: her ugly-ass dogs, sneak peeks of the latest Kylie Cosmetic, herself and videos with girlfriend forever and half-assed model, Jordyn Woods.

For those of you who have a life and don't spend as much time lurking on celebs as I do, Jordyn Woods is more than just Ky's social sidekick. Her mother Elizabeth Woods is also a Los Angeles socialite and talent/brand manager at Mixed Image Media/PR.

Needless to say, it's no wonder Jordy got a gig with Wilhelmina Models, having been childhood pals with Kylie with the black Kris Jenner mom to match.

Anyway, while online shopping, I came to the conclusion that Jordyn (with a Y) Woods is physically incapable of modeling.

I scrolled through the curve/plus section of ASOS looking for an outfit for my next regretful one night stand, and there it was: my first real glimpse of her trying on a "look," and it's painful to say the least.

Firstly, what the fuck is up with the one-two-step shit?

And before you screech at me for attacking her, convinced I'm hacking away at the girl's career choice because I hate women, let me remind you all of how other professional plus-size models actually work it for the camera.

Iskra Lawrence

Is Jordyn even taking notes?

Walking into the week like… Hair n makeup by @leahlondonhairmua

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Nadia Aboulhosn

There is a certain level of acting and role play that comes into modeling.

Good Morning from this end 🌾🍂🍁 @bynadiaaboulhosn dress Shot by: @shevahh Hair by: @delucaloco

A post shared by Nadia Aboulhosn (@nadiaaboulhosn) on

Gabi Gregg

🕶🔥 #premmeIRL

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Some may say it isn't hard, but if you'd ever had to do a photoshoot in a swimsuit in the middle of December prepping for next summer, you'd think otherwise.

Low-key, I could model better than her, and all I have is my sister, an iPhone 7 and a few pics of me with nothing but a killer outfit, makeup and a helluva lot of confidence.

And then we have Jordyn Woods, ASOS Curve model

But I guess if dull-looking eyes and an electric slide move is all we need to make an astronomical amount of money, then sign me the fuck up.

@aribines

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