Excuses to ditch a bad date started trending on Twitter and you guys are fucking brutal, my god

It's become pretty obvi to me (and probably you, too) that dating sucks. I once went out with a guy who persistently tried to invite himself back to my place and I was not with the shits so my lame-ass excuse was that I had to get up hella early for work the next day. Creative, right?

Just like the asshole I encountered, your guy/girl may not let up and a backup excuse might be essential to preventing another boring date from occurring. After going on the Tinder date of my nightmare, Twitter has prepped me with not just one, but two excuses to ditch any future crap dates.

Let's be real, we sometimes love our pets more than we like people. And in the event that the newest guy who I'm trying to ghost is still trying to get at me, I'd hope my dog, Doobie, would get me out of that awkward mess.

Being in the unfortunate postition of already sitting in front of a person who you've dated for 10 minutes and dubbed them a dud, pull the cramps card and you're basically golden. It's an excuse one can use for nearly any situation. Whether it be for a date, your job, or your next unfortunate family get together. Cramps are natural and no one's going to reach for my pussy confirming there's a loose leak.

In many cases, some people come with strings already attached. Even if you're not in deep with a prior fuckbuddy or ex beau, use this excuse to ditch the kid. They will want no parts. No one really likes to share their shit. It just makes them appear to be a good person.

Can you remember the last time you referenced the word 'gentleman' in regards to an actual male being? Yeah, me neither. We're all looking for gentlepeople and they don't seem to reside anywhere near this planet, so use it as your go-to excuse. I know it worked for me when I had to fight (ungentleman-like) a guy after he tried to call me fake and fat. He came running back once he realized I wasn't a basic bitch with actual standards.

So, you've found yourself in a Catfish episode. I'll never understand why people don't video chat with people prior to the first date, but I'm pretty sure he or she will understand why you won't ever fuck with them again. They lied right off the bat. To the left you go, bro.

Ghosting people is one way of ditching a bad date altogether, but if you were stupid enough to give that psychopath your real contact info, it could bite you in the ass. You don't want to create yourself a stalker, so if this is the kind of response you often receive from ghosting a bitch, tell 'em you can't get with the whole Jeffery Dahmer thing and they'll leave you alone.

Who hasn't used their laziness to get out of a hangout with the squad or your fam? Everybody's a lazy fuck at one point or another, so they really can't say shit to you for ditching them, because more likely than not, they've used it to get out of a similar situation. Lazy ass bitches rock.

@aribines