Bella Hadid’s guide to thirst trapping is essential for getting maximum attention online

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Bella Hadid’s guide to thirst trapping is essential for getting maximum attention online

The key is to be shameless, OK?

Remember that summer when we were all obsessed with Fetty Wap's song Trap Queen? He had only one eye and like, one successful song, but the phrase trap queen entered our collective lexicons forever. Fetty (Mr. Wap?) meant Trap Queen in the literal sense: a girl at a trap house, with whom(st) he made and sold drugs. But since no actual trap queens listened to that song — they were too busy trapping, obvs — it was adopted by suburban girls who couldn't find hard drugs if they walked past a crack den with the words HARD DRUGS!!!! spray-painted on the front.

Now you'd think this would all be a joke tie-in to the subject of this story, thirst trapping. And it was at first, I promise. But I got lost along the way so we're just gonna go for something way less nuanced:

BELLA HADID IS A MODERN TRAP QUEEN, BY WHICH I MEAN SHE'S THE QUEEN OF THIRST TRAPS.

I was putting off writing today, scrolling through Instagram and willing the guy I like to text me so hard I think my phone levitated, when I saw it. This picture:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcxhSoAn-an/?taken-by=bellahadid

Titties: Out

Caption: Sultry

Attitude: Shameless

The thing is, though, Bella's been especially thirsty in the 'gram these past few weeks, and I think I know why. Remember how Drake hosted her birthday party and then completely ghosted her? She's going through the time-honored phase of trying to prove HOW TOTALLY FINE AND NOT AT ALL DEVASTATED. WHY? DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME? she is. Thirst-trapping is incredibly effective in this sense, and can help not only prove to your haters/exes that you're fine but entice your new ting to text you. Let these pics of Bella explain how:

The picture has to be hot

It's not enough to just post a picture. It's not even enough to post a cute/pretty/funny picture. It has to be visibly sexy, like this one of Bella:

Last season @chromeheartsxbella

A post shared by πŸ¦‹ (@bellahadid) on

We've got some wonderful underboob happening here, which is the new top cleavage so try it out this weekend. Her hair is wet in a I-just-orgasmed-under-a-waterfall kind of way, and her mouth might as well have an "enter here" arrow pointing into it. Do you think Bella's phone blew up with exes and crushes immediately after posting this? For sure.

Do you think my crush texted me after I posted this an hour ago?

Absolutely not.

You have to act like your life is amaaazing

Here is Bella, proving that she is not average and has a Life with a capital L and both Abel and Aubrey made huge mistakes by letting her go:

🌹

A post shared by πŸ¦‹ (@bellahadid) on

Although isn't it a little comforting to know that even crazy hot and famous girls like Bella get left on read and dumped, too? Or…does it make you feel worse/hopeless? I'm still deciding.

You have to be completely shameless

This is by far the most important part of thirst-trapping. It's not an activity for dignified, put-together girls who have never shown up at their exes work to apologize for "acting totally crazy" after leaving 57 missed calls and crying Taylor Swift lyrics into their voicemail boxes. No, this is for girls with nothing left to lose.

In order to lay a successful thirst trap, you have to know that your enemies will screenshot it and put it down their group chats to roast you. It will also probably be your most-liked picture but it is trying the hardest. If you're ready for that, then go for it and do this:

A post shared by πŸ¦‹ (@bellahadid) on

I mean, you can see her pussy. Bella just gets it. Go camel toe or go home.

@itsamandaross

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