Sorry, but being forced to hang out with your boyfriend’s friends is a fate worse than death

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Sorry, but being forced to hang out with your boyfriend’s friends is a fate worse than death

I didn’t choose you fuckers!

It's a Thursday afternoon, you're didn't get invited to anything good on Facebook and you're vaguely horny, so obviously you text your guy and ask him to hang out tonight. If you're lucky, he'll send you the heart-eyes emoji and offer to bring a six-pack.

But sometimes, he'll respond with that phrase we all know and hate: I was actually gonna chill with my friends tonight, but you should totally come thru. But the thing is, you totally shouldn't "come thru." Because hanging out with your boyfriend and a bunch of his friends actually fucking sucks.

First of all, hanging out with a group of straight guys is only fun if you've CAREFULLY vetted them beforehand. And you know your boyfriend didn't do any of that shit — these people are probably all friends from his frat or his sports team, and we all know what that means.

And even if your boyfriend happens to have a group of buds who are all actually chillers (not impossible but so, so rare), you'd obviously rather just hang out with him.

Unless you guys are really "progressive," you're not gonna hook up in front of his friends, so you're basically committing to a night in the presence of men without even getting piped — i.e., definitely not worth it. And odds are, they're going to be more interested in yelling at football players on TV or killing cops in GTA than catching up on the new season of Stranger Things like he promised you guys would.

Also, odds are that your man's friends aren't exactly thrilled about your presence either. It's not that fun to hang out with someone who gets super quiet and looks at their phone for 2 hours straight after they accidentally took an overwhelming bong rip.

Everyone involved basically knows that you don't belong in this equation, except for your beautiful, stupid boyfriend who just wants to have it all.

Plus, if your boyfriend has any of female friends, you're either in for brand-new besties (at least, until he dumps you and they stop liking your Instagram posts) or two of the tensest hours of your entire life, filled with concentrated girl-hate and rehashing of memories they made before you entered the picture.

The only real reason to spend an extended amount of time with your boyfriend's friends is if things are going south and you're in the market for a particularly hurtful rebound. Sorry, but that's facts.

Basically, if your boyfriend tells you he made plans with his friends, take that as an opportunity to make plans with yours — you know, the people you chose to spend time with because you have actual shit in common, not just because they've got a friend who's exclusively fucking you.

@k80way

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