No matter how tough they pretend to be, guys are actually pretty fucking sensitive, especially when it comes to fucking.
So if you're a girl who hooks up with guys, it can be hard to bring up your own sexual satisfaction (or lack thereof) with your partner without him reacting like you just said he has a micropenis. And one thing that guys are particularly insecure about is stamina: because when he taps out after like, two minutes of frantic pumping, you both know it wasn't good for you.
men will literally nut 45 seconds into sex and have the audacity to ask if you came. yeah i came to the wrong house
— Iguana (@kajuana_marie) December 19, 2017
So how do you guide your man in the right direction? Here are a few ways you can broach the subject without bruising his delicate ego.
Fake a kink
"Can u try not to cum so fast this time baby?"
— suckaforbigforeheadsandabigass (@traytrayolay) December 19, 2017
Tell him that the idea of him jerking off before you guys hook up turns you on, because if he's already gotten off once today the odds are way higher that he'll last longer when you're actually together. Maybe this isn't even a lie — I don't know you or your story!
Give him a cute nickname
Ever try to tell a guy jackhammering won’t make a girl cum? Ever try to tell men anything about sex? Their egos won’t allow you. Lmaoooooo so we just fake it.
— metaphysical mami🔮✨ (@Shansdoe) December 20, 2017
If he finds out that he's saved in your phone as 'The Flash,' he's gonna get the message. AND he'll know you're into superheroes which is like, so nerdy-hot. Guys love a geek girl.
Take a trip down memory lane
if they talk about their ex, they talk to their ex
— ryleigh chamberlain (@ryleighchamber1) December 20, 2017
I know it's trashy to talk about old partners in front of someone new, but desperate times call for desperate measures and I truly cannot think of anything more desperate than telling your new boyfriend about the time your ex rawed you for the entire runtime of the second Lord of the Rings movie.
Reverse the roles
it's disrespectful to cum before your girl
— Jen (@jendadoll) December 14, 2017
Offer to go down on him, bob on it like three times, then fall asleep. If he gets mad, just tell him it's a metaphor.
Give him the silent treatment
I couldn’t fake it if I wanted to.
— Dizzy Wright (@DizzyWright) December 13, 2017
Odds are, if he's cumming super fast, that you're doing some acting in the pleasure department. Silence is a great way to let him know what's up and what should be up for a lot longer. Stop faking moans (and orgasms) when you're not feeling it, and watch him respond by stepping his game up.
Passive aggression is a girl's best friend
My dumbass when she’s dropping hints pic.twitter.com/xetOktl8se
— Jay (@Jay__Jauregui) December 20, 2017
Fuck a diamond! Men are most vulnerable and suggestible post-coitus, like they've been hypnotized, so slip a suggestion of dissatisfaction in while you can. A comment like "Whoa, you're enthusiastic" or "Oh, are you done?" will cut him to his fucking core, especially if you say it all doe-eyed and smiley.
Or, you could drop hints Kim Kardashian-style
Hemingway was asked to write the saddest story he could using only six words. This is what he came up with.
"Well I'm done, did you cum?"
— navidaddy yankee 🎄 (@motherofnaggins) April 1, 2017
And by that I mean literally just say it! What've you got to lose? A two-pump chump who you can't even communicate with? Shoot your shot so you could finally get to shoot your shot. You get it.
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