This girl on Twitter might actually be the most psycho girlfriend alive, and I don’t understand why y’all think it’s cute
I’m actually scared for this man!
by Amanda Ross
Normally, I am team Crazy Bitch — because the "crazy" woman is usually right to an extent. Then again, I'm also occasionally a Crazy Bitch myself. We can admit we've all done stuff like wait until he's walking out the door to start a fight, say we're "fine" when we're not and then get mad when he doesn't press us on it, or swear up and down we "totally don't care where we eat, babe! Your pick!" and then sulk when he can't read our minds and know where we actually wanted to go.
Aaaand then there's this girl. Normally I wouldn't even report on this, but it did 31,000 favorites on Twitter. Really? Thirty THOUSAND of y'all thought this was cute and OK? Let's break this down:
"Why are you single?" Because I'm crazy. pic.twitter.com/f7UM6wrHSt
— hoey (@HoeyTheCutie) November 2, 2015
It's resurfaced from almost THREE YEARS AGO and it just now blew up. Here's what happened: it looks like this bitch got sick, and wanted her boyfriend to bring her food — WingStop in particular. So far, I'm onboard because I love acting like I'm dying while sick and WingStop is good as hell. I want a ranch fountain at my wedding. But then it gets weird:
You know, at this point, I'm willing to give my girl the benefit of the doubt. We all have bitchy moments when we're sick, and I once cried to my boyfriend for an hour because he cheated on me in a dream. BUT THEN:
First of all — fag? Really? Even in 2015 we weren't saying that shit. Not even if the guy went to the ARTRAVE wearing a Born This Way Highway Unicorn jacket. This girl is mean! Also I don't trust anyone who doesn't like Powerade. That blue shit is literally a healing elixir. And it gets even worse:
Tag yourself, I'm "You're supposed to say you're already skinny enough for me." Here's the final installment of this story:
I am…so tired. Why was he dating her? How can my pussy game be on that level where I can fully Gone Girl a dude and he's just like "OK you want boneless or classic wings?" No, but seriously, this isn't cute. The fact that so many comments under it are like, "LMFAOOO MEEEEE!!!!!" makes me want to drive my car off a waterfall.
Also: fuck you, Powerade is good.
Maybe YOU can tell me why this Instagrammer keeps photoshopping his ballsack to look bigger
Because I really don’t know
by Harry Shukman
Listen here, pal, cause I'm only gonna say this one time – there's a famous Instagrammer who keeps photoshopping his BALLS to make them look bigger, and we have proof! An influencer called Samuel Rossi edited this, and many other photos of his Finnish nütsåck, which we have painstakingly uploaded as a gif for your consideration:Can't…
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and it’s time to finally let go and move on
You can’t miss them forever
by Codi Cheyenne
Buckle up, because this is about to be an emotionally intense week. Everyone is going to be shedding emotional baggage, so cast your protection spells early on, before anything gets too wicked. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd, there’s a full moon in Taurus on the 24th, and then on the 26th, the Sun…
Celebrating the anniversary of when that kid filmed a Musical.ly in front of his dying grandpa
Don’t you give up, nah-nah-nah, I won’t give up, nah-nah-nah, let me love you
by Harry Shukman
Imagine you're a proud grandfather, at the end of a long and happy life. You're on your hospital deathbed, breathing raggedly, as you're hooked up to life support. It's an emotional time – you're surrounded by your loved ones smiling and doctors shaking their heads. You've not got long left, and you close your eyes, preparing…