Hurt-trapping is the new way to hoe on Instagram while just looking edgy

If you've been utilizing Insta's disappearing-story function to the best of your abilities, you probably spent an average of 8 to 10 weeks in 2017 thirst-trapping everyone short of your mom and your mom's priest.

But when it comes to actual Instagram posts, only the bravest of us are willing to go full titties with no explainable caption, other than "Feelin' myself." So what did we do? We improvised with needles and ink.

Hurt-trapping is the new way to posts thirst-traps online that you'll literally only be congratulated for.

Nipple piercings

As someone who got both of their nipples pierced in the freezing chill of January last year, only to sleep on a friend's rock-hard sofa for the two weeks after, I'll be the first to admit those little bitches hurt like hell — and I've gotten my septum twice.

So when someone tells me they have theirs done, or want to get them done, they do seem way fucking cooler in my eyes. And when someone posts a fire pic of them online? I can't help but tap that MF "like," and neither can he.

Bellybutton rings

The less painful of the two — but still painful — as long as you toss a #FinallyPierced somewhere in there, you can literally post any half-shirt selfie your heart desires, and everyone will celebrate your newfound determination.

Get it girl!

Tattoos

If you're going to get a tattoo — and I have 15 — you're going to want to show it off. Nobody spends and hour or more under the needle just to leave without a good selfie. And even if it's a lil' guy, or you want to get it somewhere where it "wont be seen," you'll still want it to be seen at least once. I mean, come on.

Pop it up there with #NewInk in the caption and you're #Golden.

Even if the tattoo isn't necessarily in a "sexy" place, there are ways to get creative with it.

It's like a fun hide-and-seek game, except your tattoo is the thing hiding, and creepy guys from your old high school are the ones seeking!

Bruises

Actual bruises are genius way to show off any and every part of you on social media, while simultaneously letting all of your followers know you get laid more than them, and probably enjoy choking.

And if you can toss in a tattoo for extra credit? Definitely don't be afraid to do so.

There's nothing wrong with hurt-trapping. I guess it really just means you're "Not like other girls," or something.

Because there are #Girls and then there are #GirlsWithInk.

@carolinephinney