CONSPIRACY THEORY: Britney Spears is a clone, and I can prove it to you in fewer than 1,000 words
Trust women when they tell you things
These things I know for certain: The moon landing was fake, Avril Lavigne is dead, and Britney Spears' clone, Myah Marie, replaced her just before her mental breakdown.
Seriously, there are a lot of plugged-in people — including myself — who are positive we left The Real Britney in 2008.
Britney was cloned in 2004 due to rumors
When photos surfaced of Britney and her back-up dancer Columbus Short hooking up while his wife was expecting her first child, Brit's team knew they needed to take action. She was the music industry's biggest cash cow with her multiplatinum albums, sold-out tours and white-hot fame. If anything were to happen to Britney, her record label and team would be out of big bucks. So they decided to clone her, and save her for a rainy day.
When the rumors died down, they put her clone back on ice
Eventually, when Short admitted to the affair and all of the rumors surrounding their "relationship" died down, Brit's clone was put back on ice. The thought of knowing her clone existed haunted Britney for years, and she tried to do something about it with her art.
That's when she started work on her album The Original Doll
2004 was the period of time during which Britney began work on an independent album she'd kept secret from her label. The album was called The Original Doll, and on it was a track called "Mona Lisa."
Every time I think of Britney Spears being a clone I think of this pic.twitter.com/hWi8EfT8EV
— ?Crystal? (@EyeOfPhi) August 26, 2017
Britney was worried about what her management team might do with her clone in the future, since it had all the same abilities and face as her but she wasn't allowed to tell anyone.
In a song on the album she sings 'She’s been cloned'
"Mona Lisa" originally debuted at KIIS-FM on December 31, 2004 after Britney sneaked away from her team and played it without their permission. Since, it's been a major source of controversy.
Her team denied the album to the public
Eventually, the whole album got canned, but on it were the lyrics "She’s the original, she's unforgettable, she wants you to know she's been cloned," so it's no wonder her team didn't want it going mega-vi. Now Britney's label claims this album doesn't exist and she was "never working on it."
This takes us to the infamous meltdown of 2007
Some blamed Britney's mental instability on fame, but there was no solid argument for why what happened actually happened. But imagine if you'd been cloned and couldn't tell anyone; her image in the public eye was one of morbid fascination.
The studio wanted sexy, youthful and iconic — otherwise her career would tank, and she knew there was another one of her waiting in the wings.
In January of 2008 when she was hospitalized (again) , they struck
Right before she was placed in her second 72-hour psychiatric hold was the last time we saw The Real Britney. While in the hospital, she was replaced. They didn't want to risk the public questioning this new clone's existence (especially because of the Mona Lisa mess-up), so they gave us innocent Brit with her her next studio album, Blackout.
But her clone, Myah Marie, didn't have the same voice. And people noticed
That's why all of her concerts are lip-synced now — Myah Marie sings for the clone because she can't. And although to some she may sound the same, to the most dedicated of fans, she does not.
The studio even told the public about the cloning with the New Britney's music video for "Break The Ice."
Fake Britney's 2009 video 'Break the Ice' shows her blowing up a cloning center
And, according to Donald Marshall – one of the leading conspiracy theorists in cloning – the tubes detailed in the video look “exactly” like the real tubes in a cloning center.
In 2015, B.o.B. posted a series of tweets accusing the music industry of cloning
The rapper claimed in a number of Tweets that celebrities were being cloned but at the time, people thought it was a joke between some DJs. “I swear I don’t want attention or money or fame no more, just to get the truth out,” B.o.B wrote in one.
I swear I don't want attention or money or fame no more… just to get the truth out. The truth you've been hidden from since birth
— B.o.B (@bobatl) December 12, 2015
But after his tweet began attracting attention, conspiracy theorists started digging up the truth, and that's how we came to the realization we'd lost Real Britney.
they basically want to drip-feed the truth about human cloning to us as if it's "soon to come" … but it's been here
— B.o.B (@bobatl) December 14, 2015
Now? All we have left is a Britney who tweets about her dog
And kids who don't trust her man. But people love her anyway.
— Facia Lewis (@FaciaLewis) August 26, 2016
JUSTICE FOR BRITNEY.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
The most popular Instagram posts of 2018 were kind of terrible (and like 60 percent Stormi)
Sorry you didn’t make the cut!
by Nian Hu
Well friends, another year has come and gone! Memories were made, experiences were had, and most importantly, some BOMB Instagram photos were posted. You’re feeling pretty proud of yourself! With the help of VSCO and FaceTune, you finally managed to curate a feed that’s every bit as aesthetically pleasing as the Pinterest board of your…
We texted our one-night stands to ask when we could exchange Christmas gifts and things got MESSY ?
They were *not* excited to hear from us
by Caroline Phinney
The holidays are great because you get to eat as much as you want, binge drink in front of your parents, and flex on all your old high school acquaintances. But they're also great because they encourage us — in our eggnog induced stupors — to message risky things to all the people we definitely…
It’s official! Every single character on Riverdale sucks except for Betty
Betty FINALLY snapped
by Nian Hu
So with Riverdale Season 3 Episode 7, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that I’m starting to think that the Riverdale writers are actually reading my recaps, or at least spending a lot of time scouring r/riverdale, because they FINALLY decided to stop jumping around madly from one disjointed plotline…