Being plus-size doesn’t make you the DUFF

Being a plus-size girl in a petite-only world always feels awkward, especially when your friends get to peruse the regular sizes at Forever 21 or try on PINK panties without even batting an eye at the tag.

Being the token fat girl in any squad is frustrating because of the conflicting feelings, like loving your crew but hating their skinny girl privilege with the guys.

But the problem with movies likeThe DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) is they contrast a main character — a plus-size girl — with her girlfriends who wake up at 5 am to get done up. But in reality, she just doesn't give as much of a shit, and that's what makes her sexy.

Typically, I'd count myself out and let my skinnier friends be the ones to get grinded on while hitting the club. I always made the assumption "I'm the fat one, so he's probably not looking at my ass," but that's not the case, my curvy cuties.

While having some random guy come up behind me to grind his dick on me may not be my cup o' tea, it's validating to know the offer is on the table, you know? And despite being the thickie among my friends, guys approach us, and I'll be their point of their attention. Like, me? Really?

It's sad I used to feel caught off-guard by a guy who was talking to me over my much smaller friend who could actually take the seat between two inconsiderate-ass manspreaders on the train, but the older I got and with my curves settling in, I started feeling myself.

Being a size 20 and growing into my looks was a blessing and a curse. I quit beating myself down and labeling myself the DUFF, and now gross older men (who aren't paying for me to notice them) continue to hit on me while I'm looking like the snack of their dreams.

I've started to think of myself as a fuckboy in a curvy girl's body, because even guys who I treat like total shit seem to want me when I'm not fucking with their advances . . . or their dick pics.

Being the curvy one of the group helped me to realize I was the only one who actually stood out among all my thinner friends.

I learned to never let my insecurities get the best of me or compare myself to anyone, and in hindsight, it wasn't me who was the DUFF of the group, it was that skinny girl, Clarissa.

Irony is a beautiful thing, thickums.

Bodied is babe's new weekly column by staff writer Ari Bines, discussing body insecurities, body positivity and how to tell shamers to fuck off!

@aribines