Fuckboy Diaries: The 18-year-old whose man who’s not her man but he’s her man kisses another girl

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Fuckboy Diaries: The 18-year-old whose man who’s not her man but he’s her man kisses another girl

Get to day five for the DRAMA

Fuckboy Diaries is a series by babe where girls across the country anonymously write about a week in their fuckboy-filled lives — and it's so much more than getting a "u up?" text at 1am. This week, an 18-year-old waitress from Cynthiana, Kentucky whose man who's not her man but he's her man kisses another girl.

Day one

9:45am: My alarm is screaming in my ear as I frantically roll around in sheets wrapped around me like a straight jacket. It's Saturday. I check my notifications. Amongst my Instagram likes, texts, and Facebook notifications, I have 27 Snapchats. 24 of those are streaks. Three of those are boys from school. The first of the three is a boy named Max, the typical all-American cliché with his blonde hair and blue eyes. The second one is Caleb, a boy who is obsessed with playing his guitar, piercings, and getting tattoos. The third one is Dillon, Max’s best friend, a baseball player with hair he says is naturally curly but most definitely isn't since he has more hair product in it than I do on a good day. All three are just pictures of their faces, something I never understood. I leave them on read and roll back over to go to sleep.

11:00am: I wake up again and actually get out of bed this time, walking into my living room to watch TV and eat my breakfast. I scroll through my Instagram feed and like a couple of pictures, one of which is a To Be Honest from a boy I work with. I set my phone down to go get some more orange juice, and when I come back I see a DM from him saying, “Are you free Wednesday??”. I ignore it until I get another message saying “I know you don't work so you can't use that excuse.” I block him and move on.

12:00pm: Max Snapchats me again. It's a picture of his abs all covered in sweat from his morning workout asking what I'm doing. I, not in the mood to be all sexual and stuff, reply back with an Instagram-esque picture of my breakfast captioned “eating”. He snap back a picture of his underwear band saying “Why eat that when you could eat….”

I leave him on read. Again.

4:00pm: After cleaning my apartment all day I decide to go grocery shopping because I can no longer live on Ramen noodles and what's left of a gallon of milk. I head to Walmart. Since I live alone and work a lot it's really easy to forget to buy groceries until it's absolutely necessary. I think about getting a roommate sometimes, but then I think about growing up in a house of 5 and suddenly living by myself doesn't seem too bad anymore.

4:10pm: I arrive at Walmart and walk around, buying the groceries I need. Then my phone vibrates. It's a text from an unsaved number saying “I see you”. Now, let me tell you that my horror movie-obsessed mind lost it thinking about all the possible ways this means I am going to die. In the time that I am planning out my funeral in my head I didn't realize that there was a person behind me. They reached up and covered my eyes with their hands and said “guess who!” I recognized the voice. It was Lucas, my ex-boyfriend whom I dated for roughly three years before he decided he liked college girls while in a relationship. I scoff and walk away. I load my groceries into my car and head to my apartment, where I put the groceries up and then take a nap.

7:00pm: I wake up from my nap and decide it's too late to actually make food so I go make a bowl of Lucky Charms and eat them for dinner. I scroll through my Instagram feed again and I notice I have notifications rolling in. I check them and it's all likes from the same boy, a complete stranger to me. He proceeds to DM me and say "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?” I roll my eyes and reply with “Eh. Kinda scraped my knees crawling out of Hell so the fall before that wasn't too bad.” He reads it and doesn't reply. I laugh.

8:00pm: My two high school age sisters come over and we catch up on stuff that's been going on. Then one mentions that Lucas asked about me at church the past week. I cringe. He always does this before trying to get back together. He doesn’t see the problem with frequently cheating but I’m not about that life. I shrug it off and tell them to think nothing of it. We watch reruns of Friends.

11:00pm: They both fall asleep on my couch. I text my mom and tell her that they can stay the night at my house as I pack them to my second bedroom and put them in the bed.

12:45pm: I finally get into bed, thinking about texting Max to ask him about his day or something, just an excuse to talk to him since he listens to me pretty well. I get a Snapchat of him in bed saying “You still up?” My night may not be over yet. I send “yes.” and he sends “come over then and I'll keep you awake all night.” My night is definitely not over yet.

Day two

2:00pm: I wake up to the same 24 Snapchat streaks, but this time I have 4 Snapchats from Max. The first says “I had fun last night.” The second says “I want to see you again tomorrow” the third says “Please let me know as soon as you can.” The fourth says “I hope you sleep well since I tired you out all night.” We just stayed up all night watching movies and making out, nothing super serious. I send a picture back of me all cuddle up in bed saying “I would love to see you again. What time?” he replies back instantly with “Would 5 work? How about dinner and a movie?” I stop. He wants to go on a date. I reply back with “Like a date?” He says “Well yeah”. Now, the last time I went on a date it ended with me coming home and him trying to force his way into my apartment, so I'm a little wary of going on dates. I tell him yes and go to make food.

4:00pm: I get into the shower and do my hair and makeup. Max Snapchats me saying “I'm so excited for this!” with the heart eye emoji. I find myself excited too.

4:45pm: I put on my high-waisted black skinny jeans, a black tank top, my back wedge booties and a pink cardigan that goes down to to my mid calf.

5:00pm: Max picks me up and we go to eat at an Italian place in the next town over. We talk all throughout dinner and laugh, then head to the movies. We both decide on Pitch Perfect 3 and he buys me a popcorn and a soda even though I told him no.

9:00pm: The date ends with Max walking me up to my apartment door as he lightly kisses me goodnight. I smile and step inside.

9:30pm: I take my makeup off and go to bed, exhausted. As I lay in bed I think about the days. He was really sweet and kind the entire throughout the entire night, but I just don't know about it. I like him, but I'm also not sure if it's enough for a relationship.

Day three

12:00pm: I’m awakened by a phone call from my mother, asking me how my night with my sisters went. We talk for hours just catching up on life, stupid stuff like the color she painted her room, the boys in her life, etc. I listened but didn't really tell her anything about my problems because she would go tell my father, who is super religious, and it would just cause too much drama between us.

3:45pm: I finally get off the phone with my mother and check my notifications. Both Dillon and Caleb have Snapchatted me. Dillon’s says “Hey Cutie.” He can't seem to take a hint that I like his best friend more than him. All throughout high school Dillon was a player. He messed around with so many girls all at once and made no attempt to hide it. He's just not my type. I don't reply. Caleb’s says “Sup.” I don't reply. I clean around my apartment again before heading into work.

11:30pm: I finally get off of work, shower, and go to sleep after my calm, nice, relaxing day.”

Day four

9:40am: Max Snapchats me first thing in the morning. It's a picture of him in bed saying he's cold. I say “me too” and he responds “let me come cuddle then”. I tell him I'm about to get up and he says it's okay he wants to spend time with me. I say “well come on then” and he comes over.

12:00pm: Max makes me lunch. It's a beautiful meal, but it's main part is fish, which I strongly dislike. I eat it because I was raised not to waste my food and pretend to like it. He smiles and it's all worth it. We go to the couch and we cuddle and watch reruns until I have to go to work as a waitress at a small pizza place in our town. It isn't an extremely well paying job, but the tips make up for it.

12:00pm: Max was supposed to pick me up from work but his car won't start. “It's fine.” I tell him. Dillon happens to be at the store next to ours and is leaving when I am. I ask him for a ride, rather embarrassed. He obliges and we chit chat along the way. He lets me out in front of my building and I thank him. I head inside, shower, and go to sleep.

Day five

10:25am: I wake up to my streaks and a message from Max. It says “You got a ride home from Dillon?” I reply back, telling him how the situation played out. He replies back with “As long as you're safe.”

10:30am: My best friend Mack messages me saying “ummm….did you hear about what Max did last night?” I asked her in confusion, “No? He was supposed to pick me up but said his car wouldn't start.” I live in a super small little hick town, small enough that roughly 200 kids graduate per year. So everyone knows everyone’s drama. She calls me. “Hun. Max went to a party last night and hooked up with Anna”. That's all she says before I hang up. I'm upset because my man who isn't really my man but totally lowkey is hooked up with his ex girlfriend. I send him a text and say “Yeah I got home safe. Did Anna get home safe?” and put my phone down. I ignore it for about 2 hours.

12:30pm: I finally pick my phone up again and see 3 texts from Max saying “I'm so sorry. I was drunk. It never should have happened.”

I reply back with “Yeah you're right. It shouldn't have. But I have no room to be mad since Dillon gave me a ride home and you gave Anna a ride. I guess it's equal huh?” and turn my phone off. Mack comes over and we talk about how ignorant boys are.

4:00pm: I go to work.

6:00pm: Max shows up making a huge scene, yelling at me in front of my coworkers and customers, telling me he's sorry and that he really does have feelings for me, blaming the hook-up on drinking, etc. My manager escorts him out.

11:00pm: I get off work. I have a text from Zack, a boy who went to school with us before he got a girl pregnant at the age of 16. A couple of days before this he had liked a To Be Honest of mine on Instagram and we talked for about 2 hours after that, mostly about his baby, and he hasn't stop sending me random dick pics and “you up?” texts at 2 in the morning. The text says “Shoulda stuck with me. I wouldn'ta done y9u wrong like dis” I cringe from his text and ignore it.

11:30pm: I start to go to sleep as I tell myself to never talk to another boy again, until my phone rings. It's Caleb. Maybe I won't go to sleep yet.

Day six

12:50pm: I wake up. My head is pounding. My throat is dry. I try to open my eyes and I think I might be dying. MY BODY HURTS EVERYWHERE. This is it. Death is upon me. You would almost think I was hungover after I did some crazy stuff last night, except for the fact that I left Caleb with a major case of Blue Balls and slept. I think I'm sick.

2:45pm: After finally getting out of bed I Google my symptoms. I either have the flu or I have a brain tumor. At this point I would be OK with either. I call into work and call my doctor’s office to get an appointment.

5:08pm: I have the flu. I call my mother and then go home and crawl in bed hoping to sleep it off a little.

9:12pm: I wake up to a text from Lucas. He tells me he heard I have the flu (my mother told him) and he has the soup that always makes me feel better. I tell him to bring it over. He brings it over and I invite him inside to talk about life, simply out of courtesy since he brought me some bomb ass soup.

1:45pm: He leaves and kisses me goodnight on the forehead. I go inside and go to sleep.

Day seven

2:31pm: I wake up to a text from Max saying he's sorry. I hear a knock on my door. I crawl out of bed to go look and there are flowers outside. “I miss you.”- Max. How pathetic can this boy be. I throw the flowers away and text him, “leave me alone please.” “Don't do this” he responds. “Excuse me. If you can DO Anna then I sure as hell can Do this. Goodbye.” He reads it and does not reply.

4:26pm: Lucas texts, asking if he can come over to check on me. I say yes and ask him to bring me some tea if it doesn't bother him. He says of course and brings it over. He stays over and takes care of me much like he did when we were in a relationship. It's the main reason why I invited him, because he knows how to make me feel better and knows me better than anyone else. I fall asleep with my head in his lap as he plays with my hair.

8:34pm: I get woken up by Lucas talking to someone at the door. I look and it’s Max. All I hear is “If you ever come here again and I find out about it I will hurt you, and I'm fucking promising you that,” and Lucas shuts the door. He walks back over to me and I just smile and go to sleep again.

11:50pm: Lucas leaves and I go to sleep in my bed. But before I do I get a text from Dillon that says “Sup babe” I just smile and roll over. I mean honestly. A girl's gotta have some fun right?

Want to contribute your own Fuckboy Diary? Email [email protected] with the subject line [fuckboy diary] and a bit about yourself.

@elenimitzali

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