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We don’t need a Jonas Brother reunion — Kevin needs a Jonas Brother reunion
We must save him from making shitty sponsored content
by Una Dabiero
Yesterday, the Jonas Brothers' reactivated their Instagram account. Of course, this sent every "Year 3000" fan girl into a fit because what could this mean other than a reunion?? As I streamed "S.O.S." on repeat, I started to think about the Jonas Brothers' taking the modern music scene. Would they do a collab with Cardi B? Would they get produced by Marshmello?
Then, I took a step back and realized something: Nick and Joe are already on the modern music scene. Joe is the front man of DNCE and Nick is releasing new songs 24/7. I started to feel terrible. Not remembering that Nick Jonas brought us "Jealous" should be a federal crime.
In this moment, I realized: it's not us who needs a Jonas Brothers' reunion. We get Nick and Joe all the time. It's really Kevin who needs a Jonas Brothers' reunion. Like, this shit is probably life and death.
Think about it: Joe is in the news ALL THE TIME. He was voted part of Forbes' 30 Under 30.
He dated Gigi Hadid, the hottest supermodel in this galaxy, and now he's engaged to GOT's Sophie Turner, who plays the best character in the whole-ass world-renown show.
He also made a music video with Ashley Graham and got major coverage for it.
Nick is also totally living the life. He just starred in the new Jumanji with famous daddy, The Rock.
He also performed for the entire world (and Ryan Seacrest) on New Year's Eve.
And he even got a photo-op with Mariah Carey, skinny legend/queen of pop, at the fucking Golden Globes.
But then, there's Kevin.
He's just kinda being a dad and doing sponsored content.
And I feel like you can't just go from pop superstardom to hanging out with a 3-year-old 24/7 and not go fucking insane. Like, I'm sure his family is great and cute and fun, and his wife is way hotter than he is, but I don't care who you are, hanging out with your family all day drives you fucking insane. Ask Betty Freidan.
Also, let's just face it: He's just not posing for photos with Mariah Carey or dancing around with Ashley Graham on YouTube like his hot, famous brothers. That must jade a person.
I just really believe a Jonas Brothers' reunion might be the only thing that saves Kevin from doing Instagram ads for toothbrushes for the rest of his life, and he must know that. He needs it much more than we do. For his sake, I hope it's true. And if they ever tour again, I would totally buy tickets. You know, for the cause.