IRL • Jan 18 2018

This woman who used a dildo to measure the snow is a modern-day hero

As Plato once said, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’

It's always a great day when you open your Facebook app to a bright pink dildo. It's like "oh shit, where am I? The bus? A coffee shop? I need to exit this shit out."

But today, when I saw a dildo on my timeline, it wasn't an incriminating targeted ad or one of the degenerate locals I know from middle school sharing some porn. It's modern invention at its peak.

A woman from North Carolina used her uhm, intimate tools to measure the amount of snow keeping her home after a massive snowstorm. And of course, like it was a joke on some bad CBS sitcom, she got eight inches.

I'd say we got about 8 inches in thomasville 😂

Posted by Dana Willis on Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Naturally, commenters freaked the fuck out

Some using incredibly disturbing emojis

And some people even started criticizing the snow's sexual activity

How dare they SLUT SHAME

But some viewers were so inspired, they started doing their own measurements

But which one should I use?!

As Plato once said, "necessity is the mother of invention." And this woman's invention makes her the modern-day fucking Thomas Edison. I love Facebook.

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