This is what your Naturalista hair style says about you
I keep my 4C in two doo-doo buns, so I MUST be a hoe
by Ari Bines
Whether your hair has a bouncy curl after leaving the shower or if you've been painfully ripping out all the dead kinks like me, you have a go-to hair style if you've conjured up the confidence to wear your hair out natural:
The Doo-Doo Bun
If you're one to constantly rock your 3C in a doo-doo bun, you're obviously a hard-working bitch. You're a down as fuck in the sack, willing to the latest acts in butt stuff. You can't be bothered spitting out fur balls while your going to down on the dong and you definitely can't be bothered with the girls at school who keep asking you "how you get your hair so curly?" You're always on-the-go and after you orgasm — you're immediately sliding your panties back on.
The Loose Goose
Loose Goose naturalistas are always whipping it back and forth. They know their shit is poppin' and they won't let you forget it. The Loose Goose is a hair style that transcends all eras of time, and will always be in style. You were probably the nice girl in high school who tried to keep to yourself for the most part, but guys left and right are literally always hitting you with "Ayo, ma, can I talk to you for a second?" from across the street. Everyone assumes that you're a bitch because you get so many guys to notice you, but you're probably the mousiest girl on the block.
The Fo' Sho' Fro
Ignorant-ass dudes will call you "Macy Gray", but you'll proudly proclaim to all the white women in your office "Yes, this is all my hair." You're the type to wear your heart on your sleeve because you'd rather know off the rip who's a shithead or who's your woke Justin Trudeau. You love dating outside of your race because you know it makes the micro-aggressive racist people feel uncomfortable to watch your PDA with their kind.
The Low-Neck Puff
Don't look at me sideways being fat and eating a salad. Today's #bodybrat post is about plus-sized girls (like me ?) who DO eat healthy, but we all have our indulgences ?Link in bio, fool. • • • • #psg #psblogger #blogger #lifestyleblogger #bodypositive #boohooofficial #celebratemysize #curves #curvesarein #curvesfordays #curvy #curvyfashionista #fashion #fashionista #fashionforwardplus #plussizeblogger #plusmodelmag #ootd #psootd #stylehasnosize #blackgirlsrock
You're a calm, cool and collected kind of gal. You're in-between the Doo-Doo bun and the Fo' Sho' Fro. You don't have time for foreplay with guys who whack off before sex, because you know he'll still finish before you do, and the reason you wear your puff low is because you think it'll stop your Caucasian co-workers from asking you about your hair—it won't.
Bantu For You
Bantu girls are ballsy as fuck, because they know they're about to be interrogated by every person who doesn't know the palm of your brown hand is white (it be like that sometimes). You only go to the women's marches with both white and POC feminists, because you know inclusion matters in actual feminism. If he eats you out for only two minutes, you'll grab and drag his head of hair back into your valley to finish the job properly.
Even if you're no longer a naturalista and chose the burn of perm, you can still relate to the interrogations around your puff and curls. Shit, you probably still have hands reaching for your lace front. Good luck though, girl.