‘Snaking’ is the male thirst-trap you’re bound to fall for at LEAST thrice
Well, I’m gullible as fuck
by Ari Bines
The first thing that comes to mind upon finding out a dude is thirst-trapping are all the images of pink dick flooding my Bumble DMs, leaving me to un-match and block them. However! There's a new thirst-trap on the scene, and it's genuinely trapped me into craving more. I like to call it "snaking."
Snaking, bitch? Really?
Yes, really! Snaking is literally the one and only thirst-trap that I can't seem to get away from. I'd even be willing to put money down and bet all you bitches have probably fallen for it, too. Essentially, snaking is when a guy sends you only the outline of his boner, keeping the little sucker in his pants and/or "manties":
The more I write this out, the more I question what the fuck is wrong with us girls. We freak at the sight of a penis out and about, wiggling and jiggling, yet he keeps it in his pants and we're drooling over him. In all realness, snaking really just seems to be a tease that turns all of us into mush.
Some snaking is subtle
Simple, sweet and straight to the point, this type of snaking is for virgins. For those who have yet to even see a penis in its full form, this is like the child lock on your parents' car door. I think it's safe to say that even though this snake is well hidden, it's just enough to make you take charge and slide into his DMs for once.
Some snaking is…obvious
Snaking is probably what got Khloe pregnant in the first place. Like who would deny this? The outline of his junk is what actually makes you curious about what the hell he's got underneath the towel. But guys just Airdropping you dick picks is literally like receiving your Valentine's Day present unwrapped.
Others are just obnoxious
This type of snaking is pretty ridic because it takes the whole point of snaking to an unnecessary level. Maybe it's just this dude, but I can't get a good glimpse of what he's actually packing. Guess he didn't want us to know how small it really was.
This peek-a-pube snaking seals the deal for me
Maybe it's just me, but receiving a slight view of pubic hair is enough to make the woman downstairs do flips.
I can't lie though. I will probably continue to fall for the snaking thirst-trap because it's pretty fucking delicious to look at. I don't know about you, but sometimes, I just want the appetizer before the main course.
Guess which rapper this girl cheated on her boyfriend with!
‘The next video is of them twerking and the same dude grinding on them’
by Harry Shukman
Here's a fun game if you're feeling like a dick! With whichst rapper did this girl cheat on her boyfriend with? The clues are in this story about a newly-single dude who poured his heart out on a relationship advice site, and it's brutal as hell (although he's now laughing about it, which means you…
Power ranking every U.S. President by their dick size
Every day is Presidents Day here
by Amanda Ross, Josh Kaplan and Harry Shukman
INT: WHITE HOUSE – NIGHTThe President is hunched over his desk. His tie is undone, there’s stubble on his face, and he looks exhausted. Papers are scattered in front of him as he drafts a speech. Suddenly, an aide bursts into the room and shouts: “Mr President, Mr President, sir!” The President looks worried, and…
When it comes to interracial dating, there’s a double standard for Black women
We can’t seem to catch a break
by Ari Bines
As a Black woman who's crossed the great racial divide more than once, I’ve seen first-hand how interracial relationships get judged and ostracized (I’ve been called out of my name many, many times). My relationships, my friends', and even celebrities' prove that time and again, it’s Black women who get more scrutiny for dating outside…