Wanna get back at the fuckboy who ghosted you? Try putting a hex on him
by Una Dabiero
I was once having dinner with a friend, when she told me she had to leave early because her friend was just broken up with.
"Damn, that sucks."
"It's fine," she said, "We're going to curse him."
She went on to tell me that every time a member of her group of friends is severely wronged, they cast a spell on the pain-causing party. She said it felt good.
I started to wonder what this all meant. I knew witches existed at like corner stores that sell incense or on Tumblr pages, but I didn't think people actually cast spells. Apparently, I'm very wrong. I did some pretty extensive research into how to curse people (and took a minor spiritual journey), then typed out a quick 101. Feel free to use it on a shitty ex or a girl who you've tried to make friends with way too many times.
You say witchcraft like it’s a bad thing
— 🌻 (@JAYVERSACE) January 17, 2018
There are many types of curses which vary in severity. I won't be including any death spells or spells that cause bodily harm, because a) that's super fucked up and a lawsuit WAITING to happen and b) as a newbie, you probably aren't in touch with The Spirit enough to cause such harm anyway.
Assess your situation and willingness
The most important part of any curse is taking time to realize your situation and your willingness to curse. Consider why you are upset with the person you are planning to curse. Successful curses can have strong impacts on their targets. You have to decide if the situation warrants negatively impacting someone and if you are fine taking responsibility for bad things happening to them. Additionally, it is important to consider that the person being cursed rarely realizes they've been cursed, much less why they've been cursed. If you want someone to change their behavior, cursing is not a strong plan of action.
Different witches have different opinions on the ethics of curses. Some abide by the Three-Fold Rule, which suggests any energy you put into the world will come back at you three-times as strong. These witches believe one must be ready for negativity if they curse another with negativity. Other witches believe using magick to harm others is never morally sound, and swear off cursing all together.
However, some witches believe intention is hardly important when considering the morality of magic, because spells cast to help someone can harm another while cursing someone could positively affect other people. Those in favor of cursing also tend to believe witchcraft's value is most clear its ability to put power over one's life into your hands. Therefore, they support any decision a witch makes with strong will.
It is important to consider your ethical beliefs regarding cursing, and keep those in mind. If you have any hesitations, your curses will be much less impactful.
Set your intention
After you've decided your situation is appropriate for a curse and you are willing to curse someone, you must consider your curse's intention. Do you wish to curse someone's career? Their romantic relationships? Do you want them to never sleep well again? Do you want them to smell bad? You need to come up with a specific intention for your curse that you can repeat to yourself throughout the cursing process.
The strength of your intention decides the strength of your curse. You must believe in your power to curse someone and must truly want to curse them in your heart. You must actively channel your inner-power and heart into your intention, and believe it will work. The more you want something to happen, the more it will.
life dreams: doing witchcraft with lana
— V🍒 (@LanasPentacle) January 14, 2018
Choose a mechanism
There are several ways to make your intention happen. Generally, you can impact someone more when you are close to them. As a result, many curses require proximity to your target. Don't ever do something illegal to get close enough to someone to curse them. No stalking, trespassing, or desecration of their things. There are ways to achieve curses while not breaking any US laws, and those are the only methods you should use! Here are some ways to curse:
Spitting on someone or their things is illegal. But spitting around them is not. To curse someone by spitting, focus on your intention while you gather saliva in your mouth. Then, spit as close to them as possible. Preferably, spit in a way they can't see to avoid looking like a freak, like spitting behind them when they're walking away. Spitting somewhere they will be in constant contact with makes your curse more powerful.
The Evil Eye
I thought 'The Evil Eye' was just a figure of speech, but it's actually a traditional way to curse someone. Essentially, to use this curse, channel your intention into a glare. Try repeating your curse over and over in your head as you stare at your recipient. When you feel your power has been used, stop.
There are several ways you can curse someone with just a piece of paper and a pen. Writing your ill intention on a paper and storing it somewhere near your target can be a quick, effective way to curse someone. Another quick way to curse someone is to write their name on a sheet of paper and burn it while meditating on your intent. You can also write their name on a piece of paper and put it in your shoe, so you're always stepping on them.
I would never cast a spell to make you fall in love with me but I wouldn’t be surprised if you did fall
— jane (@heyjanyne) January 26, 2018
One of the more intensive ways to curse someone is to create a "Curse Jar" for them. For this, you need a sealable glass jar (like a mason jar, so Pinterest!) and a poppet — something that represents your target, like a picture, stuffed animal, or hair clippings. You will also need an object that acts as your "medium." Different objects have different effects on your target. Nails or thumb tacks will cause general harm. Vinegar can cause souring of relationships (like your ex and his new girlfriends' relationship!). Rose thorns can bring deception into your targets life, and Red Pepper can cause anger.
When you have your materials, clean the glass jar. Then, set your intention in your mind and place the poppy and mediums into your jar. Be sure to focus on your intentions as you place the items. Seal the jar, preferably with hot wax. Then, shake the jar while you think angry thoughts about your target. When you are done shaking, hide the jar in a dark place. If it can be placed near the target, it should be — this will make your curse much stronger. Placing it in their yard or in a dark place in a space you share would be effective, as long as you don't have to trespass to do it.
Verbal Curses can also be effective. In a Verbal curse, you say out loud an ill-intention for your target. The intention often takes the form of a "May you" statement. Meditation on your desired result is important while casting verbal curses.
Having more people casting verbal curses with you will also increase the effectiveness of your spell. Inviting friends who feel just as strongly about the curse to meditate on it with you will make the spell more powerful. I guess that's why my friend casts spells with her friends when a guy fucks her over rather than going it alone.
I'm not 100 percent sure what I think of all this cursing stuff. But if you believe the energy you put out in the world changes it, you should believe this shit works. Proceed with caution. Unless of course, you're planning to curse my last ex. Then, shake your curse jar fucking hard. Actually… throw it out of the window.
Remember the thicc wife guy? He’s writing a book
He cannot be stopped
by Harry Shukman
The thicc wife guy, as you will recall, was an extreme dumbass who posted about how he loved his "curvy wife." He was roasted into oblivion last summer for uploading these deeply patronizing and unnerving words to Instagram:"Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one…
We asked the NSA if there were really government agents watching us from our webcams, and they didn’t deny it
I KNEW IT
by Katie Way
So you're talking to your roommate and you casually mention that you kind of need a haircut. Then you log onto Facebook an hour later, and all you see is haircuts for Aveda salons. What? How the fuck did you just say something out loud, without searching it, and now your computer knows about it?…
QUIZ: We know who has a crush on you based on your personal style
You better pray it’s not your ex
by Una Dabiero
There's nothing quite like a good, old-fashioned crush. It's so exciting to catch brand new feels for someone and see your jadedness melt away, just to have your heartbroken by a new (but beautiful) specimen. Can you imagine someone out there forgetting this world is full of heartless freaks just for you? We can. Build…