19 things you’ll only understand if you’re completely addicted to attention
You only send mass Snapchats if you’re an attention addict — sorry!
by Una Dabiero
There are two types of people on this earth: people who are pretty chill just doing them for them, and people who would do literally anything for attention. I've determined there's really no in-between: None of us have a friend who is occasionally extra.
Being thirsty for attention 24/7 is truly a culture. There's certain things you just can't understand if you aren't trying to figure out how to get everyones eyes on you all the time. Here's everything my fellow attention hoes know about our lifestyle, right down to the sultry selfies we send every fucking day.
1. Posting thirst traps
There's nothing you like more than some thicc Instagram comments, especially some comments from your crush and/or people you deem cool and attractive. In order to feed your feedback fetish, you post thirst traps like… semi-regularly, at least. What can you say? You're always feeling yourself.
2. Feeling bad when you accidentally interrupt someone… but then again, not really
Your need to be in the middle of things often means you literally get in the middle of things by butting into conversations and cutting people off. It feels a little awkward to hop in there and accidentally interrupt someone, but you also know you have to cut your losses to get what you want. Sorry to the mumblers out there, but I'm here to voice my opinion.
3. Spending your entire life in theatre
i've never met a theatre kid who wasn't extra as fuck
— maxine! (@MaxinePhilavong) March 2, 2017
If you love being noticed as much as I think you do, chances are you've been like this your whole life. And baby, you couldn't climb on bars or send nudes for that sweet, sweet attention. Instead, you spent your whole life in theatre where the spotlight was LITERALLY on you. I guarantee you've been in at least one musical and always fought to play the lead, even if the lead was something shitty like Princess Fiona in Shrek or the prostitute who dies in Les Miserables. If I just threw you back to audition trauma, I am so sorry.
4. Forcing your significant other to run errands with you just so you have someone to talk to
Being addicted to attention means always needing someone there to talk to you. Even if you're just dropping off your dry cleaning or picking up a package or running to get tampons at the closest Walgreens. You've probably trapped people in your car to get them to run errands with you. But you don't worry about it. You know you're so entertaining, they have a great time no matter what you do.
5. Saying you're really bad at things just so people will say you're good at them
You feed off other people telling you that you're good at what you do. And that doesn't always happen naturally. Soooo you bait it a little bit! You always drop in casual conversation that something you did is terrible or that you're ugly so people will tell you you're totally amazing.
6. Having dating apps just to see which hot guys will swipe right on you
You're the type of girl who never goes on Tinder dates, but keeps Tinder just so she can see who will match with her or who will message her first. Getting models' numbers is kinda your game, and you play it fiercely. Your bio might even say something like "give me attention," you freak.
7. Sending mass Snapchats
One thing i need to STOP doing is sending out mass amount of nude Snapchats while I'm blackout
— lexx (@alexxbreton) January 6, 2018
You love when all your friends are talking to you at the same time. It hypes you up. And there's really no better way to start a conversation with tens of people than by sending them all an enticing snapchat… then posting it on your story. You know, just so they'll want to message back but won't think it's weird if they don't know you like that.
8. Sending daily selfies to your friends so they'll tell you you're pretty
I love sending selfies to my friends bc they gas me sooooooo much https://t.co/3HDP1llWOj
— crybaby 🍼 (@radgalary) January 31, 2018
You know who's guaranteed to tell you you're pretty? Good friends. You know who needs to be told their pretty? You. So, you send your lovely GM selfies on the reg under the guise of 'choosing one for Instagram' or "choosing one to send Johnny." In reality…you just need to know you have the face of an angel.
9. FaceTiming instead of calling so people have to look at you
You like to be the center of someone's attention, not just their ears. So if you have to talk with someone over the phone, you can bet your ass it's going to be over FaceTime.
10. Having multiple Instagram accounts
You're so extra, you probably have more than one Instagram account. On top of your rinsta, you might have a finsta or a blog or a meme page. Twice the accounts means twice the likes, bay-by. For what it's worth, you're super active on the rest of social media too. But so is like, everyone else. This social shit has really made us all a bunch of narcissists.
11. Spreading questionable gossip just to stir the drama
You know how to keep people coming back to you: spreading semi-reliable goss. If there's something semi-interesting and probably true about someone, you've told everyone about it. That's how you make sure everyone's wanting to hang out and "catch up."
12. Meticulously watching your following on every single social media platform
literally two minutes ago i tweeted a picture of my followers and said don’t go and then someone unfollowed, i am highly offended
— j (@fionnjh) January 30, 2018
You get personally offended when someone unfollows your Twitter or Instagram. You know you crank out grade A content and you get pissed when there's one less person to click 'like' on your Kylie Jenner-grade pics.
13. Everything you like is YOURS, and everyone else is 100 percent copying you
Im like the only "real" virgo
— BRUH, Out Now (@RappinCJ) August 7, 2011
You like to have a monopoly on talking about your favorite things. So when your friends decide they like what you like, or decide to steal a joke you told them last week, you get pissed. All the attention on me, please.
14. Being purposefully cryptic to keep the conversation going
You're always telling people you're "fine, I guess…" or "just going through a lot" to keep conversations going and more importantly, centered on you.
15. Always needing someone to text
I just answered all of my unanswered texts from the past few days 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻im exhausted
— waitamini (@darIingemini) January 18, 2018
You literally can't exist unless there's multiple unanswered texts in your notifications, so you keep multiple people on the line all the time. Tinder matches, old friends, or even your grandma if you're desperate. You're always talking to someone.
16. You're willing to leak your own nudes
You know you're hot, and every once in a while when you want to be told how gorgeous your bod is, you "accidentally" post them to your snap stories or send them to the wrong guy. The reaction is always worth it.
17. Subtweeting just to get some mentions
couldn’t be more grateful for the friends that i have, ya know who you are! #subtweet
— Tiffany Chen (@tiffanyyychen) January 31, 2018
There's no better way to get some likes than posting a semi-sassy, semi-sad tweet that sounds like it's about your own life, but could also be about this episode of The Bachelor.
18. Sex is a performance
For you, one of the most important parts of sex is that you look good. You're always thinking about how hot you look in different positions before deciding how to ride and probably wear lots of crazy shit to keep yourself sexy. You literally get off thinking about how obsessed a partner is with you.
19. Feeling kinship with celebrities who do weird shit for attention
You feel this weird sisterhood with pop culture trainwrecks like Lindsay Lohan or Bella Thorne, because you know how it feels to live for the attention of the free world. Honestly, you wish you were a celeb so you could self-combust in front of more people. It's going to happen anyway — it might as well make you famous.