Just a bunch of hot cartoon characters I’ve wanted to look like since I was like, 9
I would drown my first child to look like Daphne from Scooby Doo
by Una Dabiero
Being a little girl is rough, but do you know what makes it rougher? Realizing that 2D animations are way cuter and way more appealing to boys than you are.
I don't know if you guys did this, but I definitely spent half the time I was watching TV scheming, trying to decide how I would make myself look like my favorite bunny with boobs. I wanted to be most of these characters. I would've literally given up my humanity to be a cute dog in the Goofy Movie.
Here's the characters I definitely would've given up living past 25 to be. Don't tell me you wouldn't still sell your soul to look like Shego.
Of course we all wanted to be Kim Possible. She was a cheerleader with bouncy hair who was also a spy, and she had thicc thighs while also being able to wear a crop top. Sign me the fuck up for that life.
If you didn't want to be Kim, you wanted to be her evil twin, Shego. Shego was definitely sexier because she was bad. I definitely pretended to be her and shoot green stuff out of my hands in the bathroom mirror. Imagine pulling off a head-to-toe skin-tight suit like hers. Your fav could never.
Ms. Bellum was slim thicc before it was in. I have literally never seen a waist so snatched. She was my fitspo back in the days when my cardio was playing tag.
Look at Princess Peach's big-ass lips, natural eyelashes, and full af hair. It's no wonder I always wanted to be her.
Trixie Tang was skinny and rich and boys liked her. That was basically enough for middle school me. Add the fact that she had cute clothes and she was basically a therapy session waiting to happen.
Daphne was smart, independent, and fit as fuck. Her full-ass red hair strikes fear in the hearts of her enemies, and her legs are longer than my life expectancy. Not to mention, she is an American ICON. You could never.
Sailor Moon is basically perfect. She's tall, skinny as shit, and has big-ass blue eyes. I would cut off my arms if I could keep my legs and wear knee-highs and mini-skirts as well as she does.
I didn't know bunnies could be hot, but Lola Bunny is really fucking hot. She's a true inspiration. Her makeup was ever-present and she could even work bangs. A sexy girl icon.
LaCienega was hot and definitely a little bit bitchy: The best two things we all aspired to be in life. I still wish I was this bratty, and more importantly, bad enough to make it work.
Roxanne is the hot girl-next-door. You know, if your neighbors were dogs. 8-year-old us just wanted to shape-shift into this birth-marked, humanoid goddess. She may or may not still be our body goals.
Sam was the goth girl of everyone's dreams. We all wanted to rock purple makeup like this bitch did, just like we all wanted to date Danny Phantom. Honestly, I still wish I was this edgy. Some cartoons have it all.
I'm pretty sure Brandy is a dog, but she is literally hotter than we will ever be. She basically started the choker trend and can wear a crop top and low-cut jeans with no remorse. I'll call you guys when I can wear a crop top at all, lol.
Jessica Rabbit made me realize I was a sexual being. She made me hate my body before I even knew I hated my body. Her waist is IMPOSSIBLY snatched and she has had at least eight boob jobs. But damn, does it look good on her.
Jasmine was not only the hottest Disney Princess, but was definitely the only one having sex. Like, look at that bitch! She inspired every girl I know to dress as a belly dancer for Halloween. But if your mom was anything like mine, you definitely had to wear a shirt under your blue bra-type-thing. I mean, it makes sense, since I have literally NEVER had a snatched waist like Jasmine's. My mom was protecting me from mortal embarrassment. Jasmine's thicc in all the right places — look at her tree-trunk hair. Eternal fav.
Carmen Sandiego was a genius spy who could pull off a red coat and red lipstick at the same time. Sherlock Holmes, who?
Every girl needs a trap phone
Even if you’re not actually, y’know, trapping
by Amanda Ross
I have this friend. For the sake of our story, let's call her…Janet Vasquez. I'm not changing her name to protect the innocent because she thrives on attention (one of the many reasons we're friends) and because she's definitely not innocent. Me and Dammit Janet at a bar circa 2011, moments before she ran away…
BEHOLD: Pumpkin Spice Booze, because Pumpkin Spice Lattes are over and they haven’t invented Pumpkin Spice Cocaine yet
Catch me snorting nutmeg
by Amanda Ross
There is nothing wrong with a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Like astrology, Lush bath bombs, and any novel written by a woman, PSLs are in a special club of things that are objectively good and fun but hated on by dudes and girls who haven't yet realized that dudes who hate those things are garbage. But…
Your weekly horoscopes say everyone’s feeling particularly rebellious this week
Here’s what to expect
by Caroline Phinney
There's something about these final dog days of August that bring with them an energizing, revitalizing feel. Fall is on the way, which means it's almost time to cuff up or miss out. With Lilith in Capricorn, you'll be ready to make the first move this week. Good luck.AriesIt’s finally time to relax for you…