2018’s biggest trend is something no one I know can successfully pull off
I mean, other than Rihanna
by Una Dabiero
We all knew 2018 was going to be a rough year. Trump is President, climate change has our weather all fucked up, all our heroes are predators, and Vogue said we're all going to be wearing animal sweaters come this winter. But if we thought all of that was bad, we haven't seen this years latest trend. It's squeaky, sexy, and basically impossible to pull off: Latex.
That's right. Pretty soon, we're going to be cramming our baby fat into a material just recently believed to only be for Dominatrixes (dominatrices?) and the Kardashian-Jenners.
A lot of celebs have been wearing latex since late last fall, but the trend is just becoming "mainstream." Iskra Lawrence recently posted a head to toe latex ensemble…
… and Rihanna wore a latex COAT to the Grammy's, proving the squeaky substance is longer just a fiction of your creepy ex-boyfriend's daydreams.
Girls on Instagram have been wearing the trend, primarily in the form of Fashion Nova dresses
Of course fashion nova would be promoting latex
And like, they don't have a problem with it, because they have the BMI of a three-year-old child
I'm pretty sure my neck is the size of her waist
But everyone else should be terrified that vinyl is becoming a trend.
There are pants…
Like leggings, but shinier and way more likely to make a fucking disturbing sound while your thighs rub together.
And tight-ass latex miniskirts
Like the body con, but more likely to show off any ass bumps and/or love handles.
I know for a fact I'm not daring enough to wear a BDSM-queen costume out. Like, you might as well wear a fucking mask and carry around a whip, because all I can think of when I see this material is kinky sex. But if that's your thing, welcome to 2018! I hope you enjoy it. I also hope you and your vinyl dresses rot in hell.