2018’s biggest trend is something no one I know can successfully pull off
I mean, other than Rihanna
by Una Dabiero
We all knew 2018 was going to be a rough year. Trump is President, climate change has our weather all fucked up, all our heroes are predators, and Vogue said we're all going to be wearing animal sweaters come this winter. But if we thought all of that was bad, we haven't seen this years latest trend. It's squeaky, sexy, and basically impossible to pull off: Latex.
That's right. Pretty soon, we're going to be cramming our baby fat into a material just recently believed to only be for Dominatrixes (dominatrices?) and the Kardashian-Jenners.
A lot of celebs have been wearing latex since late last fall, but the trend is just becoming "mainstream." Iskra Lawrence recently posted a head to toe latex ensemble…
… and Rihanna wore a latex COAT to the Grammy's, proving the squeaky substance is longer just a fiction of your creepy ex-boyfriend's daydreams.
Girls on Instagram have been wearing the trend, primarily in the form of Fashion Nova dresses
Of course fashion nova would be promoting latex
And like, they don't have a problem with it, because they have the BMI of a three-year-old child
I'm pretty sure my neck is the size of her waist
But everyone else should be terrified that vinyl is becoming a trend.
There are pants…
Like leggings, but shinier and way more likely to make a fucking disturbing sound while your thighs rub together.
And tight-ass latex miniskirts
Like the body con, but more likely to show off any ass bumps and/or love handles.
I know for a fact I'm not daring enough to wear a BDSM-queen costume out. Like, you might as well wear a fucking mask and carry around a whip, because all I can think of when I see this material is kinky sex. But if that's your thing, welcome to 2018! I hope you enjoy it. I also hope you and your vinyl dresses rot in hell.
It is time to rise up against The Blue Eyes
Join me, my brothers and sisters
by Amanda Ross
This is not a rant about Eurocentric beauty standards. It's not taking a stand against a particular facial ideal or pushing back against unrealistic expectations. This story is, like all things in this world, about me. ;-)Ask any person with light eyes what color they are. No, physically stand up and ask someone around you.…
But when will we get Tesla thongs?
Give it to us, bitch @elonmusk
by Amanda Ross
When he's not busy crying about how billionaire is a slur, bedding Grimes, or looking like Dwight Schrute when he cut the face off a CPR dummy and placed it over his own, Elon Musk is innovating. He's building cars no one drives, coming up with elaborate schemes to rescue exactly zero (0) Thai soccer…
Flat Tummy isn’t the worst for pushing diet products — it’s the worst for being so good at it
How the brand is making dieting trendy
by Veronica Walsingham
Diet brand Flat Tummy has always attracted the ire of the Internet, but backlash reached fever pitch this summer when the company unveiled a massive billboard in Times Square. And for good reason: The billboard in question is part of a new ad campaign for appetite suppressant lollipops, roundly criticized for using reality and YouTube…