Bella Thorne is campaigning hard to play Kim Possible in the live-action movie — and here are her perfect co-stars
It all makes sense, really
by Una Dabiero
Bella Thorne, Disney Channel's anti-hero and modern-day Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde, but we don't acknowledge Mod Sun as Clyde), wants to head back to her alma mater for the DCOM to end all DCOMs: the live action Kim Possible movie.
Yes, Disney has officially announced they'll be making an IRL Kim Possible film. You heard me correctly: film. This is going to be art, not some 50 Shades horny housewife blockbuster or Marvel movie. And Bella seems ready to play the iconic teen spy. Time to call The Academy.
Bella's been retweeting fans saying she should be Kim
— TH3RD (@SERGIOTH3RD) February 8, 2018
Like, she seems really into the idea
— “Sweet Mey” Valdivia-Rude (@meyrude) February 9, 2018
I'm a Bella stan, so I would love to see her accepted back into the Disney fold after her last few years running through rappers and posting slightly-concerning Snapchat stories. She would really be great for the role. She has tons of experience playing everything from psycho girlfriends to dance crew members. She has the red hair. And most importantly, she's interesting enough to draw a crowd. I swear to god, if they cast a nobody or a boring girl like Lili Reinhart for this iconic role, I will boycott.
I would really love to see Bella star alongside babe's dream cast (ED: This is Una's dream cast, and does not reflect the views of the entire babe staff #notourkim), perfectly tailored for my strung-out queen.
Here's the list:
Josh Hutcherson as Ron Stoppable
Josh Hutcherson is cute but definitely not hot, plus he's a little pudgy. That makes him the perfect Ron. Also, we've already seen him with blonde hair as The Hunger Game's Peeta Mellark, so I know it's not totally gag-inducing.
Camila Mendes as Bonnie
Somehow, Camila has a girl-next-door feel and a cheer captain vibe at the same fucking time. That would make her perfect to play Kim's school nemesis and evil cheerleader, Bonnie. Also, she's already had tons of dance routine practice as a River Vixen, so she probably wouldn't need too much coaching.
Yara Shahidi as Monique
Yara Shahidi would be the perfect Monique because she has tons of experience playing sassy teen Zoey on Blackish and Grownish. I'd also love to see her play Bella Thorne's protective BFF — maybe they could work that out in real life too? Please??
David Harbour as Drakken
David Harbour just looks like he could play Drakken. Paint him blue and he's honestly good to go.
Dove Cameron as Shego
Dove Cameron's face is so perfect it just makes you want to hate her. Her disgusting beauty and bitchy vibe make her the perfect fit for Shego.
Kyle Massey as Wade
I don't know what Kyle Massey is doing these days, but I think he could probably use some work. And where better to get something semi-recent on his IMDb than with his alma mater, the Disney Channel. Massey looks exactly how I imagine Wade and he wouldn't have too many lines, so he couldn't fuck anything up. Honestly, perfect.
James Cordon as Rufus
I don't know, James Cordon just has a rodent-like voice. I also think it would be hilarious if Rufus was British.
But you know, the one thing I am really worried about in this whole ordeal is how they're going to make Rufus live-action. I will vomit if I have to look at a real naked mole rat for an entire film, tbh. But I will also be slightly disgusted if he looks like a 3-D Pokemon. It seems impossible to win here.
Who keeps giving Lena Dunham dogs?
Hi, 911? I’d like to report a crime
by Nian Hu
I regret to inform you that in the year 2018 Lena Dunham is somehow still relevant, despite MANY reasons why she should have long faded into obscurity at this point. Aside from being a fake-woke white "feminist" who accuses women of lying about rape and gets mad at black men for not wanting to sleep…
Billboard Charts indicate everyone’s getting dumped this week
We’ve all got that summertime sadness, apparently
by Amanda Ross
According to the Billboard Hot 200, which tracks the best-selling albums in the country in any given week, America is going through it. All I need is a Pharmaceutical Hot 200 to track a spike in Seroquel and Prozac and a Diabetic Hot 200 to show me a sharp increase in Cool Whip sales and…
Watch this man shock his dick off by putting it in an electrical outlet and tell me again why men are in charge of anything
It’s called ‘guy electrocutes his population rod’
by Harry Shukman
If you want to watch a short video of a man putting his dick into an outlet until it shocks him and he howls with pain, then it's your lucky day! Here is that video: Some highlights: – The moment the man thumbs his wang right into the socket– The huge spark of electricity that occurs upon…