If you think you want to try this new ‘baby bangs’ trend, just call your therapist instead
Who the hell approved this mess?
by Ari Bines
It's 2018, and for some unfathomable reason, we're resurrecting the ugliest looks of all time. We've given new life to trends from 2008 and now, we're apparently really into looking like a feudal lord from 1408 England — except now they're called "baby bangs" and they make me want to die.
Whoever told you this was a cute look probably has it out for you, I'm sorry to say.
They're a tried-and-failed attempt to cut legit bangs, like you used to do to your Barbies
Not even Queen Bey can pull off this horrendous look, which really says it all. What I always wondered is who would hate you enough to let you to walk out of the door like this and tell you it looked chic? Is this really what we're calling a look? It literally turns any forehead into a fivehead. and I'm pretty sure this is how we fucked up every cut on doll hair in throughout kindergarten.
B A B Y | B A N G S If the red carpets of 2018 are anything to go by the micro fringe is having a moment! If there’s one thing that will instantly update your look, it’s new bangs! ✂️ If you fancy braving the chop call us on ☎️ 01684 569407, pop in to see us 🙋🏼♂️ or click the link in our bio to book online 👆🏻 • 📷GETTY . . . . #babybangs #microfringe #hairgoals #hairinspo #fashion #goals #hair #styles #90s #british #malvern #malvernhills #greatmalvern #bangs #fringe #hairtrends #worcestershire
Something about it makes the wearer look…scared
One thing I despised about the baby bangs look is that anyone who wears them looks terrified. I'm not sure if it's due to the combined factors of the fivehead and wide eyes that make people look so awkward or the fact that the wearer realizes what a huge fuckup they've made by cutting their hair at all.
And some look like straight-up hats
A little bit of glimmer never hurt nobody. 💙✨ I'm taking this new @katvondbeauty metallic shade for a spin today. I've named it "Satellite" – and it's 1 out of 9 shades from the upcoming Everlasting #GlimmerVeil collection. This formula is like heaven on your lips, it's longwear as fuck, and is designed to be worn by itself or over any other longwear formula. In this photo I'm wearing one coat of #GlimmerVeil by itself! *follow @katvondbeauty for updates+swatches+launch dates! #happysunday #comingsoon #vegan #crueltyfree #burymeinglimmer
Like look me in the eyes and tell me that isn't Lord Farquaad and not the otherwise-beautiful Kat Von D.
I personally think it's a look for mentally unstable serial killers, but by all means, wear it to send a message to the dickweeds on your hit list. Or whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day.
Why am I still scared of Hot Topic as an adult?
I’m worried a group of Harry Potter stans are about to hop out and kill me for this one
by Una Dabiero
Call me local, but I love a good mall. There's nothing like rolling up at your local Southridge or Highpoint or Sunset Center or whatever on a mission for a little black dress and completely crushing it. Or going to the mall to waste hours floating between Urban Outfitters and Nordstrom and H&M. Actual paradise…
This is how much it costs to be Gigi Hadid
Living her life is not cheap
by Ari Bines
Whether you know her as the face of Maybelline or her occasional cultural appropriation, Gigi Hadid is one woman who practically owns the runway. She's the fifth highest-paid supermodel in the world, which means she gets a lot of free shit to post to her 40 million followers, but she still coughs up a lot…
Spend $1 million on body modifications and find out which ‘totally natural’ celebrity you are
Which plastic are you?
by Ari Bines
When you're bored and have a fuckton of bread in your bank account, what else is there to do than to fix what your mama couldn't give you? Celebrities love to deny that they've ever had some work done, but it's pretty peculiar how some people can have a year's worth of glow-up in a…