This white rapper just released a music video so woke, it ended racism forever
You can’t be racist if you’ve never owned a slave, duuuh
by Katie Way
Tom MacDonald is a white rapper who is desperate for the world to know how hard it is for him to be white and a rapper. So desperate, in fact, that he made a whole song about it.
Because in these times of police brutality, systematic racism and neo-Nazi renaissance, we truly are not taking enough time to consider the plight of the White Man — especially not the White Man who has dollar signs tattooed on his eyelids:
8 MLLION VIEWS ON "Helluvit"! THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH ❤ pic.twitter.com/jm4mpp6hQ5
— Tom MacDonald (@IAMTOMMACDONALD) February 4, 2018
The song is called WHITEBOY and it makes me want to commit seppuku. I hate it, I hate him for making it, and I hate the preachy video he released for it on Friday.
If you don't want to listen, I totally get it — if I wasn't literally getting paid to listen to it, I wouldn't either! It's almost hard to make fun of this guy, because he's made himself look like such a fucking joke already, but lord knows I'll try.
WHITEBOY includes choice lines like "no one that I call a friend has ever owned a slave," "being white and being racist aren't the same thing, I promise," and "white people that you hate aren't your neighbors or lawyers, they're the Rockefellers, Rothchilds, Bushes and royals," indicating that MacDonald assumes that…everyone has a lawyer?
Sonically, it doesn't fare much better. Imagine G-Eazy's flow fucked Macklemore's pseudo-race consciousness and then that baby grew up listening to 3OH!3 and reading r/TheRedPill. Or if Lil Peep was straight and incredibly boring. That's what this song sounds like.
I look nice today I think pic.twitter.com/lbY86htFRA
— Tom MacDonald (@IAMTOMMACDONALD) January 9, 2018
Unsurprisingly, MacDonald isn't exactly the Wokest Guy when it comes to women, either.
I wanna tie a feminists to a chair, tape her eyes open and force her to watch a full season of Keys To The VIP. Bet she implodes
— Tom MacDonald (@IAMTOMMACDONALD) December 24, 2016
Hoes mad that dudes call them hoes but still spend 20 min twice a week shaving they pussy for em lol ok ok u win
— Tom MacDonald (@IAMTOMMACDONALD) December 17, 2016
Cuz drawing titties on lined paper is punk rock. If you want me to draw your boobs holler pic.twitter.com/9O94Lmm4y6
— Tom MacDonald (@IAMTOMMACDONALD) December 24, 2016
If I saw Tom MacDonald walking on the street, not only would I cross, I'd probably have to cancel any plans I already had because seeing him would actively ruin my day.
Black people: “We just want white people to acknowledge their privilege and help us dismantle racism.”
White people: pic.twitter.com/hB11hEBeqQ
— Nikki🌼 (@heavensvnt) February 11, 2018
Unsurprisingly, the music video for WHITEBOY is a toothless, cliché piece of commentary. It's set in a classroom because, according to MacDonald, "it's a learning environment."
MacDonald, the White Guy with a Point, begins speaking to the class, who can't handle his controversial ideas like, "Yeah I'm white, but I never put your neck in no noose."
MacDonald then stands up and walks around the room while his fellow students throw shit at him, which was probably kind of fun…for them.
Then he yells on some desks — you know, the classic thing you do when you're mad at school.
And finally, his teacher (?) cries, probably because he realized that MacDonald is deeply, irreparably stupid and it's really going to fuck up the class's standardized testing average. MacDonald sits back down in his desk, because he's proven his point that it's okay to be white or whatever.
WHITEBOY is essentially the #NotAllMen of racism — it's lazy to imply that just because someone is your neighbor they can't be racist, and Tom MacDonald is obviously just mad because black people are making fun of his ugly hair and stupid, fake-deep music.
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