lust •
Is your ex really over you? Here’s a complete guide to knowing if he’ll come crawling back
If he’s posting about her online… we have news for you
by Una Dabiero
If there's one thing all men are great at, it's sending mixed-signals. Dudes are pretty useless when they're actually talking to you one-on-one. But after a break-up, when communication is muddy and you're trying to figure out what he's thinking from stalking his Facebook pictures and analyzing his tweets, it can be especially tough to figure out what he's trying to say.
Become an official babe member today
Here's a guide to figuring out the age-old question: Is my ex over me?
First, there's a few pretty solid ways to know if he's moved on
I really hate to be a bitch, but if he is Instagram official with a new girl or has a new girl in his profile picture, he's probably moved on… to her. That doesn't mean he won't be crawling back into your life in a few months when she doesn't work out, but for now, I'd let him go.
If he's unwilling to talk every time you text him — we're talking ghosting here, not fuckboy text delays — he's probably over you. Similarly, if he's told you he's talking to someone else and not to contact him, he's done. Do not proceed.
If he's blocked you on all social media, blocked your number, or both, he's probably trying to get over you. That, or you scared the fuck out of him. YGG. I would not recommend trying to get into contact with him at this point, unless you're willing to take on some tickets or a restraining order. Literal stalking is illegal, ya know?
If he doesn't show any of these signs, let's analyze your communication
If you guys are still texting everyday like you used to and just "using different labels," he's definitely not over you. He wants to get back with you, actually. Or, he is stringing you along for the attention. Take what you know about him and make that decision for yourself.
If you guys text occasionally, but he is always starting the conversation, he is still into you. Especially if he's sending you things that remind him of you, or asking you to hang out. There's really no other explanation.
If he responds to your texts but rarely starts a conversation, or if his texts seem short and lack emotional investment, it can be hard to tell what's going on.
So, let us look at his social media accounts
Is he uncharacteristically posting a lot? Are they statuses or photos that make him seem really great — like shirtless pictures, updates on personal achievements, or just a general "Wow I am living a life I love!" updates? If so, he is probably making a desperate attempt to show you how great he's doing. He's totally not over it.
If he always posted a lot, well first, why the fuck were you dating him? But also, it will be more difficult to tell if he's over you or not. If he's posting lots of pictures with girls or doing other things to hurt you, he's probably still into it. But proceed with caution, he sounds like a dick.
If you're ex has been silent on social media, and neither of you have been texting, it's time to do some IRL digging
If you have mutual friends you know will never tell on you — like you're 100 percent sure they won't squeal — reach out and ask them how he's doing. These reports aren't always accurate, but they can be a good starting point to see what's up. You could also try texting him, but don't blame me if it backfires.
Basically, all exes suck. And they say you're a psychopath if you stay friends with them. Getting back with them? I guess that's up to you. I personally write people the fuck off as soon as they say bye, but if you're enough of a bad bitch to get back with someone who broke your heart, you do you.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● I lived with my ex for a year after we split up
● When you break up with someone, you should immediately just pretend they're dead. Here's why
● Here's how to make sure you don't see your musty old Tinder exes on Linkedin