Taylor Swift is gay, and I have evidence for days

UPDATE: CRUCIAL INFORMATION: It has come to the attention of the editors that we missed #Swiftgron, the relationship between Dianna Agron and Taylor Swift, which began in 2011 after they met at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, and ran all the way until 2013. A number of songs on both Red and 1989 are thought to be about their relationship.

Look, I'm not pushing a gay agenda because I'm addicted to the drama, I'm pushing a gay agenda because I know love when I see it. Who are we to put Taylor in a box just because our parents raised us in some sick, heteronormative society, where we'd rather see her with bread boy Joe Alwyn or fucking Tom Hiddleston? Are you fucking KIDDING me? But it doesn't matter anymore.

Taylor Allison Swift it totally gay and I have evidence for days:

Let's go all the way back to Emily

With the release of her first album, Taylor spent most of her time on the road with her fiddle player, Emily Poe. Swift mentioned Poe in a ton of MySpace blogs at the time, and the two even went on a vacation to the Grand Canyon together. That's not necessarily gay (except for maybe the hiking in the Grand Canyon part), but what followed was suspect.

Emily was randomly kicked off of Swift's tour

In 2008, Emily and Taylor performed together for the last time before Tay released her second studio album, Fearless. Emily says she was booted from Swift's tour without an explanation, but there were rumors it was because Swift's managers were afraid of their relationship ruining the singer's fast-growing reputation (Reputation trademark Taylor Allison Swift 2017 all rights reserved.)

Clips from VH1's popup video for Our Song talk about it

"They fired her."

"No reason was given to Emily and a new fiddle player was hired immediately."

"Taylor never talked to her again."

The song 'Breathe' is about their relationship

"I see your face in my mind as I drive away / Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way"

Swift says the song doesn’t talk about why or whose fault the breakup was: "It's a song about having to say goodbye to somebody, but it never blames anybody. Sometimes that's the most difficult part. When it's nobody's fault."

Sounds like she was still in love, perhaps?

Love Story is also about Emily

Love Story, the second album's lead single, is the only song where Swift still hasn't given us a single clue as to who it could be about. Usually she drops a name here or discernible reference there, but nothing.

After Emily, Swift was forced to date Joe Jonas

Think about it: when Tay and Joe dated, the Jo Bros were at the peak of their fame. They needed something (or someone), to keep their buzz up, and Taylor would've benefited from the extra publicity surrounding her new album.

You think Zanessa was real? Or Selena and Nick Jonas? You think they actually liked each other? My sweet, naive children. No.

Almost all of the pics of Taylor and Joe together are at events. The JoBros needed a name like Swift, and she needed a "boyfriend."

Fast forward to Kaylor: Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss

The whole Kaylor rumor started after a number of photos, allegedly showing Kloss and Swift making out at a 1975 concert emerged, spawning the largest political scandal in the US since the early 1970s: Kissgate.

Here's a video of them kissing and groping each other at the show:

'Gorgeous' isn't about Joe Alwyn

It's about Taylor Swift lusting after Karlie but feeling guilty about it because she's already in a relationship with a man: You make me so happy, it turns back to sad / There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have.

Besides, there's basically nobody more "Gorgeous" than Karlie Kloss, and even if there is, it certainly isn't Joe. You've ruined my life, by not being mine — I'm in love with you, but I have to date him instead.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied is also about Kaylor

First sight, yeah, we love without reason. Even though they only met at the VSFS in November 2013 they were attached at the hip for the following year and taking a road trip together after three months.

The was too much pressure on the two of them

People started talking, putting us through our paces . Of course, once the media got ahold of Kissgate photos, their relationship was blown up in front of the entire world and put immense pressure on the two.

I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. Following the media blow up, the two took a four-month break where neither was seen with the other.

Taylor knew she was being careless the night of Kissgate, hanging all over Karlie in public, but it's the mess that she wanted.

So is Call It What You Want

"I recall late November, holdin' my breath / Slowly I said, 'You don't need to save me / But would you run away with me?'"

Run away, runway. As in fashion runway. More specifically, the Victoria Secret Fashion Show in November where the two met.

And Dress

Why would any man Taylor's ever met need assurance that she "don't want you like a best friend?" That's kind of implied in our heteronormative society. I mean, she literally sings the words "best friend." There's couldn't be a more obvious clue if she spelled out I HAD SEX WITH KARLIE KLOSS in candles on her front lawn.

Now Kloss is hanging out with Katy Perry instead

On Wednesday, Kloss was photographed getting sushi in LA with Katy Perry, Swift's long time nemsis, which means the rift that people were talking about earlier this month between the two may be permanent.

On January 1st, Kloss posted a photo from her Love magazine advent video with the caption "Swish swish," an allusion to the Katy Perry response track to Swift's "Bad Blood," and fans lost it.

But their relationship had been strained since summer. In August, Swift left Kloss's name off her T-shirt in the "Look What You Made Me Do" video, listing every other member of her squad instead.

Sadly, these dating "rumors" have been shut down by Swift. But think about it — Swift built her entire empire around being a girl who sings love songs about impossible to pin down men. And if she suddenly changes the narrative, people might start digging for other signs of deception. She's too calculating for that.

Plus, her music says it for her: "You can want who you want — Boys and boys and girls and girls."

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● Taylor Swift fired one of her best friends for posting rape jokes and anti-woman memes

● Snaked by Taylor Swift: WHERE is the new Delicate video?

● Kim just hand-delivered a Valentine's Day gift to 'hater' Taylor Swift, and other enemies

@carolinephinney