Of course Fergie sang a sexy national anthem – and it was the fun take our world needed
What did you expect?
by Una Dabiero
In an uncertain world, I believe only a few things: The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Fergie makes sexy-ass hoe anthems. So when I saw everyone freaking out about her performance of the national anthem at last night's All Star game, my only thought was: Seriously? What did you all expect?
People were saying it was the worst national anthem… ever. They said her performance was 'disrespectful' and 'classless'
Fergie with one of the worst National Anthems ever…
— Jon Hood (@Jon_Hood4) February 19, 2018
that fergie national anthems was so disrespectful that Kaep stood up.
— brank (@kngbrnk) February 19, 2018
Fergie’s performance was “The Room” of national anthems.
— Kyle Spishock (@kyle_spishock) February 19, 2018
Hey @Fergie, the national anthems aren't used to get laid, you dumbass.
— Courtney Brock (@cbr0ck) February 19, 2018
Fergie is for National Anthems what Iggy Azalea was for rap music.
— Pedro ♛ (@_CTRoyal) February 19, 2018
But like, how boring. This is the visionary who brought us Fergalicious, Glamorous, and the late MILF. This is the woman who educated all of us on the true meaning of London Bridge. This is the woman who normalized wearing sexy Girl Scout costumes and bedazzled monokinis. Of course she sang a sexy rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.
Expecting Fergie to sing the national anthem like she's an Operatic Soprano is like expecting Shaquille O'Neill to play football. She did a great job doing what she does best: singing sexy, party tunes that get everyone talking.
Honestly, I think her remix kinda bumped. Sure, she didn't hit the notes and it was uncomfortable to watch her rendition with my parents in the room a la Knocked Up, but it was the fun take our world needed. It's not like America really exudes a respectable, sterile air anyway. We should NOT be shocked when any anthem performance is 'non-traditional,' because what the fuck is traditional in an America where our president buys porn stars?
But maybe most importantly, Fergie's performance got her tons of hype of social media. Call Gen Z and tell them I have a new icon to show them. I guarantee she sells some singles after this. Queen of free publicity. Kim Kardashian, who?