Of course Fergie sang a sexy national anthem – and it was the fun take our world needed


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Of course Fergie sang a sexy national anthem – and it was the fun take our world needed

What did you expect?

In an uncertain world, I believe only a few things: The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Fergie makes sexy-ass hoe anthems. So when I saw everyone freaking out about her performance of the national anthem at last night's All Star game, my only thought was: Seriously? What did you all expect?

People were saying it was the worst national anthem… ever. They said her performance was 'disrespectful' and 'classless'

But like, how boring. This is the visionary who brought us Fergalicious, Glamorous, and the late MILF. This is the woman who educated all of us on the true meaning of London Bridge. This is the woman who normalized wearing sexy Girl Scout costumes and bedazzled monokinis. Of course she sang a sexy rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.

Expecting Fergie to sing the national anthem like she's an Operatic Soprano is like expecting Shaquille O'Neill to play football. She did a great job doing what she does best: singing sexy, party tunes that get everyone talking.

Honestly, I think her remix kinda bumped. Sure, she didn't hit the notes and it was uncomfortable to watch her rendition with my parents in the room a la Knocked Up, but it was the fun take our world needed. It's not like America really exudes a respectable, sterile air anyway. We should NOT be shocked when any anthem performance is 'non-traditional,' because what the fuck is traditional in an America where our president buys porn stars?

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Fergie on-stage at the Rock in Rio concert

But maybe most importantly, Fergie's performance got her tons of hype of social media. Call Gen Z and tell them I have a new icon to show them. I guarantee she sells some singles after this. Queen of free publicity. Kim Kardashian, who?

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