This is why straight guys are so bad at social media
I have a pretty strong hypothesis
by Una Dabiero
There are many sub-groups of people who are just… bad at being on social media.
There's moms, who make double-chin selfies their profile pictures and accidentally like Instagram posts by trying to zoom in. Then there's tweens, who post hyper-filtered duck face photos and use way too many hearts in all of their captions. There are the weird people from high school who put anime porn on your TL, and the college athletes who tweet bible verses paired with weirdly sexual emojis.
But maybe the worst sub-category of social media users? Straight guys
Every straight dude I know has pretty pitiful social profiles. And you don't have to go too far for evidence.
Just take a second and think about Tinder
Girls' profiles are full of beautiful selfies, gorgeous bikini pictures, and a cute bio perfectly crafted to find a good fuck buddy. Meanwhile, guys throw up a shitty picture his sister insist he take at Thanksgiving, a senior prom photo, and a weird joke about not being 6'0''.
Facebook is another great example of guys not knowing shit about social media
There is nothing like the struggle of having a crush, trying to find pictures of him for your friends, then realizing he hasn't updated his profile picture since 2011. Or realizing all his photos are him carrying fish.
ik we r all tired of the “man proudly holding fish he caught” genre of profile picture on dating sites but i think we r just gonna have to accept that fishbros arent going to stop because they have been doing it for millennia pic.twitter.com/DsZnkJ29RH
— common sad girl (@sadgirlkms) February 19, 2018
Honestly, I don't know what's worse: grown-ass men having their High School football photos set as their default, or grown-ass men setting their profile pic to a group photo of frat initiation.
Instagram is more of the same
Bad memes, shitty selfies, and poorly lighted, fuzzy group pictures galore.
But really, it goes beyond the pictures and bios and the bad tweets.
Straight men are bad at the actual act of being on social media, too
They message girls in inappropriate situations (if we aren't FB friends, don't reach out!). They poke and prod and like posts when they aren't invited. And they are absolutely horrible at responding to Facebook events. That's basically a cardinal sin.
Can Facebook just get rid of the option to respond "maybe" to event invites already?? Just say you're going or don't. Nobody asked for your life story.
— blessie (@bessiec_) February 8, 2018
Straight guys are probably so inept at social media because they live in a world where they don't need to be good at it
They are taught to be confident in how they look, so they don't need to master the art of the Instagram filter or take good care of their angles. They are taught to be confident in how they act, so they don't need to analyze every move they make on an Instagram feed.
What my neighbors see vs. what instagtam sees pic.twitter.com/1MISufiY1w
— sof (@sofiexorstadius) April 9, 2017
Women and gay guys and other marginalized communities are masters at perfectly grooming their appearance to be 'acceptable' for the outside world, so keeping up an online appearance that may be separate from reality comes naturally to them. But straight guys? Well… they just sell it, as is.
Take me as I am, all of me, not who i was.
— kobe. (@kobestweets) February 18, 2018
Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that. But also, maybe we should demand they put just as much effort into looking good online as the rest of us do. After all, I want a man who is going to put effort into impressing me. And that starts online.