This is why straight guys are so bad at social media

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This is why straight guys are so bad at social media

I have a pretty strong hypothesis

There are many sub-groups of people who are just… bad at being on social media.

There's moms, who make double-chin selfies their profile pictures and accidentally like Instagram posts by trying to zoom in. Then there's tweens, who post hyper-filtered duck face photos and use way too many hearts in all of their captions. There are the weird people from high school who put anime porn on your TL, and the college athletes who tweet bible verses paired with weirdly sexual emojis.

But maybe the worst sub-category of social media users? Straight guys

Every straight dude I know has pretty pitiful social profiles. And you don't have to go too far for evidence.

"Are you ready for The Tab retreat?" they asked "I am the retreat" I replied #sausontour

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Just take a second and think about Tinder

Girls' profiles are full of beautiful selfies, gorgeous bikini pictures, and a cute bio perfectly crafted to find a good fuck buddy. Meanwhile, guys throw up a shitty picture his sister insist he take at Thanksgiving, a senior prom photo, and a weird joke about not being 6'0''.

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They all wear these glasses, too

Facebook is another great example of guys not knowing shit about social media

There is nothing like the struggle of having a crush, trying to find pictures of him for your friends, then realizing he hasn't updated his profile picture since 2011. Or realizing all his photos are him carrying fish.

Honestly, I don't know what's worse: grown-ass men having their High School football photos set as their default, or grown-ass men setting their profile pic to a group photo of frat initiation.

Instagram is more of the same

Bad memes, shitty selfies, and poorly lighted, fuzzy group pictures galore.

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If his profile is full of grainy group pics… run

But really, it goes beyond the pictures and bios and the bad tweets.

Straight men are bad at the actual act of being on social media, too

They message girls in inappropriate situations (if we aren't FB friends, don't reach out!). They poke and prod and like posts when they aren't invited. And they are absolutely horrible at responding to Facebook events. That's basically a cardinal sin.

Straight guys are probably so inept at social media because they live in a world where they don't need to be good at it

They are taught to be confident in how they look, so they don't need to master the art of the Instagram filter or take good care of their angles. They are taught to be confident in how they act, so they don't need to analyze every move they make on an Instagram feed.

Women and gay guys and other marginalized communities are masters at perfectly grooming their appearance to be 'acceptable' for the outside world, so keeping up an online appearance that may be separate from reality comes naturally to them. But straight guys? Well… they just sell it, as is.

Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that. But also, maybe we should demand they put just as much effort into looking good online as the rest of us do. After all, I want a man who is going to put effort into impressing me. And that starts online.

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