Every passive-aggressive thing you can do to let your roommate know they’re absolute shit
I’ve only done about all of these
by Ari Bines
The first (and last) time I shared a room with a despicable being was during my freshman year of college. I first thought we'd be a really cool pair that would have an understanding of mutual respect. I came from a semi-strict "bitch don't play" kind of household while she happened love extremely loud sex with our classmates in our shared room. Yeah, with me in it.
Rather than deciding to be a mature adult and responsibly report it to the Resident Assistant, I unleashed my passive aggression onto her and found plenty of other ways to let her know she could fuck right off.
'Misplacing' the kitchen utensils
what is my roommate trying to communicate by moving all of my kitchen utensils out of our shared drawer? we'll find out bcs I'm not about this passive aggressive shit at all
— ミル♡ (@_miruchuu) January 17, 2018
The only thing better than eating someone else's food is making them chow down with their hands like it's medieval times and everyone's got some filthy plague.
Leaving your dirty dishes exactly where the fuck you want (the living room)
My roommate does this really cute thing where he will get passive aggressive and angry if I leave a coat on the back of the chair instead of the coat rack, but then he will leave dirty dishes on the living room floor for three days….. pic.twitter.com/jJwYVX0uLK
— Mark A. Martinez Jr. (@yo_soy_mark) January 13, 2018
The key to this one is to leave them out long enough for them to notice that you clearly don't fuck with their own messy behavior. And long before you get critters, get real.
Low-key befriend their ex
There will definitely be a time when your roommate's going through boy troubles. By the time their affair ends, slide into their ex's DMs and invite them over just to watch her squirm.
Obnoxiously chain up your valuables like this girl:
Being obnoxiously possessive will annoy the fuck out of your roommate(s). Especially if you lock up all the items you share with the house. It's critical you make it apparent you don't like living with their dumb ass.
Switch up the room temperature
SAME. My roommate LOVES to keep our room's temperature at like 85 it's absolutely ridiculous like bitch get a blanket
— BOO BOO THE FOOL (@greekfiires) January 18, 2018
This may be more active, but if you pull off genuine shivers like you're "too hot" or "too cold", that's passive enough in my book — especially if it means they'll stop turning up in your quarters with a square footage of of 96.
Keep the lights on at night
My roommate keeps the big light on … and be loud for NO reason like niggas don't got an 8 am
— Tyyyyy.🌞🐘 (@Tyannnnnnaaaa) September 26, 2017
I don't know about you but when I'm exhausted, I knock the fuck out—light or no light. Chances are though, if you can master sleeping with the lights on, you'll irk the fuck out of your roomie just right.
Exceptionally clean only the things on your side of the room
My roommate is texting my other roommates and I that we need to clean the kitchen bc her family is coming over bc “it’s dirty” but it’s not and she’s asking US to clean for HER family like lol no
— britt (@irelandflicker) January 19, 2018
Even when my roomie's annoying friends came over, they always pointed out that my side of the room was way more put together. I also made sure that my shit in the fridge was outrageously organized. You ain't her mama, so let her grab the broom if she doesn't want her guests to call her out on being a sloppy hoe.
Keep your TV blaring at night
Really what's the point of sleeping when your roommate keeps all the lights on, the heat at the highest setting, and the TV all the way up?
— Sydney Hackworth (@HackworthSydney) November 20, 2017
In college, typically, one person will bring the mini fridge and the other provides the TV. But I was the one to bring both. So you better believe I had absolute control over when I wanted to watch GoT on high volume. Bitch shoulda offered to contribute! Just saying.
Talking to your friends and family about them on the phone in your room when you know they're there
Pretty sure I accidentally woke my roommate up and she’s on the phone in the bedroom talking about me. Hoe won’t fight me though 🤷🏻♀️
— Mary (@marebare2016) January 17, 2018
If you're totally over their bullshit and ready to say "fuck subtlety", then I highly recommend you go with this level of passive aggression. They'll be sure to get the hint that you're not with this shit.
Start cleaning when they're obviously studying
When youre in your room studying with your friend and your roommate clearly knows youre studying and has the audacity to turn the vacuum on so you have to leave the room :/
— Sumavatey Sarin (@Sumavatey) January 22, 2018
When my studies were evidently in front of me, my roommate would decide that very moment was the time to whip out the vacuum and Swiffer. So, best believe I gave her a taste of her own medication.
Tag them in a 'shitty roommate' post (like this one)
I'm calling out my shitty roommate who I blocked so I can't tag. My wonderful girlfriend gave me… https://t.co/qJyKhQ60DZ
— emily goldberg (@emily_goldberg) April 28, 2016
When you've gotten the balls to drop hints that they need to get their shit toether, @ them in a Facebook group or in the comment section of an article that will tell them off for you. No sense in you doing all that work.
Leave a trash can by their bed.
My roommate just said this to @jaybyrrd15 and I: “can you be out of the room by 5? I don’t want trash in the room after that”
— stacy. (@stacyhanson_) January 14, 2018
If and when your roommate asks about it, tell them you assumed they were having separation anxiety from their twin.
Set your 10 alarms minutes apart from one another
I have to set about 10 alarms for me to actually get up on time 😅🙄
— Whitney💓 (@Whitney_Marie34) January 22, 2018
Snoozing your alarm at least 12 times is part of the daily routine, but consider alarming their ass with your phone blasting the sencha ringtone. You wake up on time and disturb their sleep. It's almost like a 2 for 1 deal.
Charge them on Venmo for all of their fuckery
Me: *hasnt paid tuition*
Roommate: *venmo requests me for utilities* pic.twitter.com/yklQE3e3ep
— Mads (@madshaffy_taffy) January 18, 2018
No one is eager to pay up for money they owe, but sending your roommate invoices for every single inconvenience you've put up with will let 'em know you're not playing games.