2017 - 2024 Tab Media pop •
If you don’t agree with these UNDENIABLE music facts, turn in your Twitter account ASAP
Selena Gomez > Celine Dion, every time
by Una Dabiero
There are few things in this world more precious than the virtue of democracy. The Greeks said it. Civics classes say it. My friends say it (at least every time I try to force them to go to the bar everyone hates so I can see Johnny.) Basically, it's super important.
Perhaps the greatest purveyor of modern democracy is social media, and further, Twitter: The space where anyone's voice and opinion can be heard. Twitter is the place where the people vote on what's important… usually via Twitter poll, but also sometimes in pure volume of hashtags. It's the place where the true voice of the people rings through, often to the detriment of the constructivist bourgeoisie institutions that run our everyday lives. The best demonstration of this? Twitter's sharp criticism of the music industry.
Twitter is a space where only the most true of music FACTS are discussed and proved by public opinion. It's the space where the true stars of the music industry come to light. If you don't believe me, enlighten yourselves with these music facts, proven with surgical precision by the bright minds of Twitter. Let me warn you, you may need a few days and an advanced consciousness to understand information this sophisticated. But if you sit on it for a few days, or years, or decades, you can reach true nirvana.
Ariana Grande is definitely better than The Beatles
Her discography could kick Paul McCartney's ass.
And Kiss Me Thru the Phone is more romantic than any other song ever penned
Soulja Boy = man after my own heart.
Selena Gomez > Celine Dion
Basically all Celine did was that one Titanic song. Selena consistently serves us bops, anthems, and bangers.
And Lana Del Rey is the best singer of this century
And maybe last century, because she really nailed that 70s aesthetic.
But Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson was the best piece of music written in human history. Technically, at least
Honestly, way more famous and talented than her sister, Jessica.
Paris Hilton is actually a really great DJ and her albums have some real bangers
She's not just a rich girl! She's an artist.
And Machine Gun Kelly should've gotten a Grammy by now
He said so himself.
But what can I say. The *mainstream* music industry is just fucked up. They'll never understand true art. That's why we, the strong people of Twitter and Soundcloud, will stay supporting true artistry. And 6ix9ine. Because he might kill me if I don't, you know?