We asked girls about their grossest, craziest, kinkiest public sex stories, and they did NOT disappoint

Sex, like laughing in church, is one of those things where the less you're supposed to do it, the more you want to. There are so many hours in the day when we're in or near beds and could feed even our most disturbed, outlandish desires but opt for Netflix instead.

Then, we have to attend our little cousin's middle school concert and it's suddenly like, I haaaave to fuck, I don't know what we're going to do if we can't come on each other's faces while listening to a bunch of 4th graders play the recorder. So, we asked girls for their craziest sex in public stories because we know you're warped and want ideas:

Mia

Once, I was trying have sex on the football field and the gate was locked so we just laid in the middle of the sidewalk and had sex. I was pretty drunk, but it was really hot.

Evelyn

Two summers ago, I convinced my then-33-year-old boyfriend to come with me to the Boys Like Girls reunion show in Times Square. We started drinking at noon and wound up getting kicked out of a bar in his neighborhood for locking ourselves in the bathroom to have extremely loud, doggy-style sex that culminated with me knocking a mirror off the wall. Then, like an hour later on the way to the show, we were still really drunk and decided to be the most disrespectful Uber passengers ever.

I slipped off my panties on the DL and he fingered me until I came while we were stuck in traffic. I'm pretty sure the driver knew but didn't want to say anything. I really hope those seats got wiped off with some Clorox…..

Chloe

In the back of a police car with my fuck buddy at the time, on the side of a highway.

We were 18 years old and there was a huge accident and our car was hit. The officer said he’d give us a ride to our house and to wait in the back seat while he went and got everyone else’s story of what happened. So we’re chilling in the car, talking about how we almost died, and then decided, why the fuck not? It was the only time I was happy about him finishing quickly.

Ella

Bent over the driver's seat from the outside in, with the door open in front of my house.

Mila

I once had sex in the girls' bathroom at a bar during a concert. It turned out the drummer’s girlfriend was in the bathroom the whole time and when she left, she told the band. They ended up dedicating a song to us and it was both embarrassing and awesome.

Charlotte

My ex and I once fucked in the bathroom of his frat house which would've been fine since he was a brother there, but it was one of those gross frat bathrooms that's communal with stalls and all. People kept drunkenly walking in, seeing us and then proceeding to pee anyway.

Victoria

In a Cracker Barrel parking lot. I worked there, and so did he.

Aubrey

Once I was in my school's arboretum making out with this guy and he went down on me. Then, when he asked me to return the favor, I said I was too embarrassed because we were in public. In reality, I just didn't want to give him head.

Zoey

In a hotel pool in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain and drunk as fuck. It was an outdoor pool and the gate was obviously locked so we hopped the fence to get in.

Isabella

One night I had sex in a club smoking area. I was dressed as Superwoman because it was a fancy dress night out, and we used the cape to disguise what was going on. I just sat on top of him facing the other way smoking a cig, no one suspected a thing. Also, on the walk home, we found a small boat tied up to a dock and climbed aboard and had sex on there. Superwoman was on that night.

Lily

My ex and I had sex in the showers at the gym where I used to work. There were other people showering in there at the same time but if I'm going to have to clean up their mess, they can deal with mine.

Hannah

The best was in his car in front of my parent’s house. Or the time we had sex in the parking lot of the theme park we were visiting. Or in the parking lot at the beach. Or in the parking lot on campus. Can you tell I’ve got a thing for car sex?

Aria

On a jet ski in the middle of a lake. I know it sounds hot, but it was actually extremely awkward, especially because I had a bulky life vest on. I almost fell off 3 times — him, not the jet ski.

Riley

I used to have sex with my boyfriend in this wooded area near my house with this cute bench and all, but once we got there and my brother was waiting there for us! He ended up telling my mom. It was so embarrassing.

Aaliyah

In the laundry room at the hair salon. It was a busy Saturday at the shop and another stylist and I were "folding towels" while our clients processed. He walked out with lipstick all over the side of his face and I had enough beard burn and smudged eyeliner to draw attention from a mile away.

Audrey

I had sex under a bridge at around 5 in the morning, after a really big night out.

Skylar

My ex and I got caught having sex on the property of where we work.

I was about to leave for school in a few days and we didn't know when we'd see each other next and we were both horny as fuck. We were wandering the property and found the trailers they use for hay rides in the fall. And, well, we started having sex. That is until somebody drove by on a golf cart and yelled, "I wonder what your parents would think." That ended things quickly. On the upside, our bosses weren't mad. They called us "ingenious."

Stella

I once had sex in the security room of a my college ball. We somehow managed to find an open, empty student room which turned out to be the ball committee's — full of walkie-talkies, changes of clothing, etc. We didn't really give a fuck and had a wonderful quickie all dressed in black tie.

Kennedy

This guy and I both work in broadcast and were working the weekend shift. So once during after-hours, we went inside the empty studio and did some unholy things on top of a talk show table. Away from the cameras, of course.

Sara

House of Blues Chicago during a show. The Cramps, actually.

Pippa

I was on vacation and I had sex on the beach (in a beach chair) with a guy I literally met that day. A few years later we reconnected and ended up dating for a year

Hazel

My ex and I had sex in a crowded lake once. I swear every adult there knew.

Madeline

In a church parking lot. We were both living at home so we resorted to car sex often. We normally parked in this off-road ditch, but it was a nice summer night and we ended up in a United Church parking lot in the nice part of town. We fucked on top of his car’s hood… And on the side of his car.

The worst part was there was a small outside playground for children that he wanted to mess around on (I imagine for comfort’s sake) but I was like, no, I’m already going to hell.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● Sex IRL: The girl who only comes when her Daddy tells her to

● I tried this subscription box designed for hotter sex, and I've never felt more liberated

● What your choice of foreplay says about you in bed

@carolinephinney