The latest Instagram trend is pretending to be a sexy baby, and it’s the grossest thing on the internet


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The latest Instagram trend is pretending to be a sexy baby, and it’s the grossest thing on the internet

Is this, like, a fetish, or…?

As a jaded young "professional," I have to imagine being a baby is pretty fun. You take lots of naps, shit whenever and wherever, and don't have to hustle to eat. But while I acknowledge that kid-dom is… amazing, I don't find it acceptable to act like I'm a baby. Because I'm a grown-ass woman. Well, I'm at least a 21-year-old woman.

But apparently, Instagram users don't agree with me that pretending to be a baby is completely off limits. There's an episode of TLC's iconic show, "My Strange Addiction," where a woman pretends to be an adult baby by wearing onesies and sleeping in a crib. This is kinda like that, but I think it might be worse. Because, you know, Instagram influencers are broadcasting their disturbing behaviors to all of us.

So what's this creepy baby behavior trend 'adult smash cakes' all about?

It's usually paired with recounting your age in months, and a sign that looks like the sign white moms make their kids hold on the first day of school every year.

For those of you who actively avoid children like the plague, a 'smash cake' is the itty-bitty cake they give babies on their first birthday

They're supposed to put it all over their faces for the scrapbooks.

This trend is… obviously concerning

I'm tired of women being infantilized. We are grown-ass people with agency. We should not feel like we need to act cute and innocent. We should not emulate babies!

And it also seems a lil sexual

Dressing like a baby isn't cute or attractive. And it's definitely not sexy. Lots of the signs have words like "sexy bitch" on them, or they mix binge drinking with acting like a baby. This just feels like dressing up like a sexy Toddlers and Tiaras girl. It makes me feel weird. I'm not trying to kink shame, but if it's your kink to act like a baby: I don't know about you, dude.

After discovering how gross people can be for some Instagram likes, I've added it to my list of things we don't deserve. Like YouTube and the entire Kardashian family. I'm ready to log-off forever. And I mean from life, not Instagram. If you need me, I'll be figuring out how to choke myself on some birthday cake.