The latest Instagram trend is pretending to be a sexy baby, and it’s the grossest thing on the internet
Is this, like, a fetish, or…?
by Una Dabiero
As a jaded young "professional," I have to imagine being a baby is pretty fun. You take lots of naps, shit whenever and wherever, and don't have to hustle to eat. But while I acknowledge that kid-dom is… amazing, I don't find it acceptable to act like I'm a baby. Because I'm a grown-ass woman. Well, I'm at least a 21-year-old woman.
But apparently, Instagram users don't agree with me that pretending to be a baby is completely off limits. There's an episode of TLC's iconic show, "My Strange Addiction," where a woman pretends to be an adult baby by wearing onesies and sleeping in a crib. This is kinda like that, but I think it might be worse. Because, you know, Instagram influencers are broadcasting their disturbing behaviors to all of us.
So what's this creepy baby behavior trend 'adult smash cakes' all about?
It's usually paired with recounting your age in months, and a sign that looks like the sign white moms make their kids hold on the first day of school every year.
We are in love with this photo shoot by photographer @ajsexpressions. Celebrating her 30th by having a smash cake, crown and a chalkboard birthday poster which usually only seen at 1st birthdays!! Love this idea! She is right…. Why should kids have all the fun! ❤️ #birthday #party #lifestyleblogger #smashcake #blogger #eventprofs
For those of you who actively avoid children like the plague, a 'smash cake' is the itty-bitty cake they give babies on their first birthday
They're supposed to put it all over their faces for the scrapbooks.
Here’s hoping that the rest of my days are filled with this level of ridiculous! Thanks you @jessiemuck for always entertaining my crazy ideas and @missshugacain for making my beautiful and insanely delicious cake (that I did eventually share with others) ❤️ #happybirthdaytome#adultsmashcake#birthdaybitch#ridiculous#27neverlookedsogood
This trend is… obviously concerning
I'm tired of women being infantilized. We are grown-ass people with agency. We should not feel like we need to act cute and innocent. We should not emulate babies!
Thank you Belinda and Claudia for having some fun with me and taking these awesome photos! I may be 30, but I still feel like a kid! Captured perfectly! (Will post more with cake smashing 😂) . . . Makeup by @sephora Sugar Land – thank you!! #thisis30 #himom #happybirthday #fun #photography #bigkid #julybaby
And it also seems a lil sexual
Dressing like a baby isn't cute or attractive. And it's definitely not sexy. Lots of the signs have words like "sexy bitch" on them, or they mix binge drinking with acting like a baby. This just feels like dressing up like a sexy Toddlers and Tiaras girl. It makes me feel weird. I'm not trying to kink shame, but if it's your kink to act like a baby: I don't know about you, dude.
After discovering how gross people can be for some Instagram likes, I've added it to my list of things we don't deserve. Like YouTube and the entire Kardashian family. I'm ready to log-off forever. And I mean from life, not Instagram. If you need me, I'll be figuring out how to choke myself on some birthday cake.