20 super specific things you’ll only understand if you have thick thighs

I've been fat for basically my entire life, but my thighs in particular are one of my biggest roadblocks in doing almost anything. Big legs can be sexy, but also a curse! From the problematic pants rack to receiving unnecessary attention, having thick thighs is both a blessing and a curse, and only some of us understand the true hardship behind thunder thighs.

You can't find jeans that actually fit your waist

It's almost impossible to find jeans that are big enough to fit over your thighs and bubble butt, but also small enough at the waist, so you're not caught with your ass hanging out.

You've rubbed out all of the ones you do have

My mom has tossed down a lot of bread on clothes because my big thighs aren't compatible with any fabric — but especially denim. Still, you probably still haven't discarded your favorite pair of skinnies because they're your absolute favs and besides, who's peeking at your crotch anyway?

It's a tight squeeze getting on any roller coaster

I once literally kicked myself off of a ride called Boulder mountain because I refused to risk the embarrassment of having the conductor tell me he couldn't close the safety bar on my legs. I'll take my thick-thighed ass to the ferris wheel. Thanks.

Trying to cross your legs is always awkward

I don't know about you, but I'm practically laying down on my side and assuming the spooning position in order to get those babies to sit pretty.

You were in a constant fight with how little your high school desk was

Every desk you've ever sat at was impossible to fit in because you always made the seat creak just trying to get comfortable.

You get a lot of unwanted attention for wearing leggings

If you're an attention seeker like me, then wearing leggings is your way into scheduling your next dick appointment. On the other hand, going to the gym to workout can be an ordeal, with people staring at your chunky thighs nonstop.

Chaffing is your worst nightmare

The sweat between your thighs sometimes isn't enough to lotion your sores or stop you from chaffing. If you don't get on that Johnson & Johnson wave right out of the shower, you better believe a red rash is on its way to ruin your entire day.

And you never remember to put on baby powder

The only way I can think to stop chub rub is baby powder, but you'll soon find yourself rubbing it away, so make sure to carry a compact version.

You can forget about shorts being in your wardrobe

Never will I ever wear any kind of short, unless they're tasteless Bermudas. It's the only way to save yourself from the classic front wedgie.

What even are thigh highs?

The fashion industry damn sure doesn't care if you look your sexiest, because thigh-high socks aren't made for you, thickie. In the event that you do find some, expect that they'll rip in a matter of days.

Guys always want to squeeze them

Whoever you're dating, they probably can't get keep their hands off of you or your thighs. There's just something about that extra fat that gets them going.

Before being 'thick' was cool, people called you fat

Being picked on sucks, and the name 'Thunder Thighs' is probably still ringing in your ears to this day.

Being on top is the fucking WORST

He can do any other position that doesn't involve me creasing my legs. Having to squat is a bitch when you're just trying to attempt your next orgasm.

You're embarrassed by your dark spots

Because your thighs can never get away from each other unless you workout (not happening), you're bound to have darker spots on your inner thighs. And when someone's going down to pound town, you're praying they don't take notice.

Skinny jeans hate you

You can forget about skin-tight denim. You'll literally be fighting yourself just to put them on. Or off.

You'll have broken a sweat just trying to get them off

If you thought getting them past your ass was hard, wait until they meet those thunder claps. At least you got your arm workout in for the day.

You can't sit on your knees for more than 2 seconds

Your go-to sitting position is most likely indian style. Is there really anything more painful than sitting on your own fat?

Your ears bleed at the sound of them slapping together

I realize how fat I am when I can make that awkward clapping sound with my thighs. I almost want a thigh gap just so they stop talking.

Everyone's now hella jealous of you

Now that slim thick and plus-size are the ~wave~, people in the comments on your Instagram are drooling all over you, and sliding into your DMs. Guess it just goes to show that everyone who made fun of you was just desperate to blow your back out.

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@aribines