Try to make it through this list of super tiny yet REPULSIVE things men do without vomiting or dumping him

tips

fads  • 

Try to make it through this list of super tiny yet REPULSIVE things men do without vomiting or dumping him

Ugh! As if!

We've all come to the conclusion that men don't know a damn thing about women. No matter how much we inform them on how much they suck at girls, they can't get our commandments down. Or even close, really.

So let's all bond over the super tiny yet REPULSIVE things guys do, because really, that's our only recourse:

Asking to make-out with you

You’re definitely out of their league if they can’t take a hint that you do or don’t want to kiss someone at the end of the night.

If someone actually knows that their good at dating, they know when you’re enthusiastic to kiss them at the end of the night.

Texting 'hehe' to a joke

I am absolutely judging a man based on how he texts me. I can’t stand when a guy sends "hehe" in response to a joke. We both know what I said was hilarious, so just keep it simple with an "lol." Hehe’s are just creepy and gross. If he says hehe he also probably has a snake in a tank and uses >:) unironically.

Complimenting themselves like ‘I’m such a goofball’ or ‘I’m hilarious’ when they clearly aren’t

If you’re not funny, I’m definitely going to tell you about it. Someone in your date’s personal life obviously doesn’t love them enough to admit he has no sense of humor. Now you have to suffer through a series of bad jokes that he believes are all knee-slappers.

'I already ate'

Advice to men: Do notdate anyone if you don’t plan on feeding them. No, women are not animals, but we damn sure like to eat.

The real dilemma is that I don’t want to make him feel bad for eating because that’d just ruin the vibe, but I also don’t want to feel like some malnourished child as he watches me eat.

'Idk. You pick'

Any guy who isn’t creative enough to come up with his own date plans has got to go. It’s a clear warning sign he’ll be boring as shit all throughout the date and has no mind of his own.

If you’re the one doing all of the thinking for him, you might as well go back to the drawing board and date your damn self.

Pulling any kind of silly face ever

She's an enabler.

Babe reader Janice says she wishes guys would stop sending her the kissy emoji. You can’t deny it. You’re creeped out. Kissy faces are reserved for girls because we’re dainty and cute—but not for him.

You never want images of your dad floating into your brain when you’re trying to strictly focus on another guy's lips. Not your sperm donor’s. Ew.

Leaving his socks on during sex

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure he’s got another dick appointment if he’s not willing to remove his socks for a pounding session. If I have to be fully naked for the next 10 minutes, then so do you. He’s just plain rude without any indecency.

Asking what you’d do to him if ya’ll were alone

I’m no phone sex operator — and if I was, he’d have to pay me up front. This is one thing that’ll dry me up in seconds. Nobody wants to think up a whole fictional essay so you can get off. If he wants a piece of you, he’s just going to have to put in the actual work.

Awkwardly clinging to you when they come out with you and your friends

I stopped inviting guys out to hang with my friends because they don’t have a clue as to how to work the room. Even though he’s your date, you’d hope he’d know how to be social instead of hanging onto me the whole time.

When he uses any of the monkey emojis

The "see no evil" ? monkey emoji is hands off for dudes. They take on this role that thinking they need to be as cute as us gals, but it genuinely comes off as weird. It’s like the textbook definition of putting lipstick on a pig and he’ll immediately be put in the friend zone for doing so.

Wearing a polo shirt on the first date

I understand most young men are sartorially inept, but for years they’ve been under the impression that the polo shirt is first-date material. It doesn’t get you or me laid and all I can think about is first grade picture day. The only time a polo shirt is acceptable is on an actual polo pitch, thankssss.

'So when are you inviting me over' the second they find out where you live

Guys who know you’re independent are simply looking for a permanent place to crash. They’ve labeled your place as the fuckpad and you’re supposed to be okay with it. My advice? Keep your bachelorette pad a secret until he’s spent at least $100 bucks on you for dinner.

Texting IMMEDIATELY after a date

We literally just spoke, so why do you have this unnerving need to text right after the date is over? I won’t miss you if you don’t even give me 5 seconds to get away from you, bro.

Saying ‘no homo’

It’s pretty clear that you’re on ‘no homo’ status if you’re on a date with me. Guys who have to declare they’re not gay after saying something that could be interpreted as gay is just annoying and insecure. He’s clearly homophobic if he has to make an announcement about it.

When they text…

one line…

of a sentence…

as each thought of conversation…

pops into their heads.

Guys have a tendency to send each and every thought in their little minds as a text. It’s the worst text etiquette I’ve ever seen honestly. They annoyingly blow up your phone and you’re pretty much screwed if his texts are green. Then they’re all out of order.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

I have some terrible news: You’re about to get ghosted

This guy’s ‘biggest mistake in life’ was curving Cardi B before she was famous

@aribines