Try to make it through this list of super tiny yet REPULSIVE things men do without vomiting or dumping him
Ugh! As if!
by Ari Bines
We've all come to the conclusion that men don't know a damn thing about women. No matter how much we inform them on how much they suck at girls, they can't get our commandments down. Or even close, really.
So let's all bond over the super tiny yet REPULSIVE things guys do, because really, that's our only recourse:
Asking to make-out with you
You’re definitely out of their league if they can’t take a hint that you do or don’t want to kiss someone at the end of the night.
LOL William asked to kiss me and I said no because I was wearing fenty lipstick. I think that says a lot about my priorities and personality.
— Jods (@jody_bedard) February 21, 2018
If someone actually knows that their good at dating, they know when you’re enthusiastic to kiss them at the end of the night.
Texting 'hehe' to a joke
This is what i think of every time i or someone texts “hehe” pic.twitter.com/n5T5xMmBgd
— Jigga Bu$ta (@FuckingFatima) December 22, 2017
I am absolutely judging a man based on how he texts me. I can’t stand when a guy sends "hehe" in response to a joke. We both know what I said was hilarious, so just keep it simple with an "lol." Hehe’s are just creepy and gross. If he says hehe he also probably has a snake in a tank and uses >:) unironically.
Complimenting themselves like ‘I’m such a goofball’ or ‘I’m hilarious’ when they clearly aren’t
Really don't dig when guys compliment themselves with "yeah I'm a nice guy." No you're not. Be humble.
— JAP (@jessica_limones) December 15, 2013
If you’re not funny, I’m definitely going to tell you about it. Someone in your date’s personal life obviously doesn’t love them enough to admit he has no sense of humor. Now you have to suffer through a series of bad jokes that he believes are all knee-slappers.
'I already ate'
Advice to men: Do notdate anyone if you don’t plan on feeding them. No, women are not animals, but we damn sure like to eat.
Her: So what do you wanna eat
Me: I already ate before you came, I’m good
— Sean (@Sean_O100) February 25, 2018
The real dilemma is that I don’t want to make him feel bad for eating because that’d just ruin the vibe, but I also don’t want to feel like some malnourished child as he watches me eat.
'Idk. You pick'
Any guy who isn’t creative enough to come up with his own date plans has got to go. It’s a clear warning sign he’ll be boring as shit all throughout the date and has no mind of his own.
Where do you wanna go o eat? Idk you pick
What movie do you wanna see? idk you pick
What do you want to be when you grow up? Idk you pick
Where do you want to live in the future? Idk you pick
How many kids do you want? Idk you pick
This will forever be my answer to everything
— Bri (@brii_lyn) March 2, 2018
If you’re the one doing all of the thinking for him, you might as well go back to the drawing board and date your damn self.
Pulling any kind of silly face ever
Babe reader Janice says she wishes guys would stop sending her the kissy emoji. You can’t deny it. You’re creeped out. Kissy faces are reserved for girls because we’re dainty and cute—but not for him.
Guys it's not cute to make kissy faces at girls when you drive by. Just saying.
— Lexass (@lexus92) August 16, 2014
You never want images of your dad floating into your brain when you’re trying to strictly focus on another guy's lips. Not your sperm donor’s. Ew.
Leaving his socks on during sex
My ex used to say keeping his socks on during sex slowed down his nut.
— Mary J. Blige was robbed twice! (@KiAgainstDworld) January 3, 2018
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure he’s got another dick appointment if he’s not willing to remove his socks for a pounding session. If I have to be fully naked for the next 10 minutes, then so do you. He’s just plain rude without any indecency.
Asking what you’d do to him if ya’ll were alone
This guy is getting frustrated because he keeps asking what I'd do to him and I keep saying "idk" lol #CockBlock
— Life Unpolished (@_InTheMakingOf_) July 29, 2013
I’m no phone sex operator — and if I was, he’d have to pay me up front. This is one thing that’ll dry me up in seconds. Nobody wants to think up a whole fictional essay so you can get off. If he wants a piece of you, he’s just going to have to put in the actual work.
Awkwardly clinging to you when they come out with you and your friends
I stopped inviting guys out to hang with my friends because they don’t have a clue as to how to work the room. Even though he’s your date, you’d hope he’d know how to be social instead of hanging onto me the whole time.
When he uses any of the monkey emojis
"he uses the monkey emoji so that's like a hard no"
— cype (@_cypressraeee) January 26, 2018
The "see no evil" 🙈 monkey emoji is hands off for dudes. They take on this role that thinking they need to be as cute as us gals, but it genuinely comes off as weird. It’s like the textbook definition of putting lipstick on a pig and he’ll immediately be put in the friend zone for doing so.
Wearing a polo shirt on the first date
if a boy wore a polo shirt on a date w me, he would never see me or the breadsticks from the table ever again
— jennifer elizabeth (@jenelizabxth) July 29, 2015
I understand most young men are sartorially inept, but for years they’ve been under the impression that the polo shirt is first-date material. It doesn’t get you or me laid and all I can think about is first grade picture day. The only time a polo shirt is acceptable is on an actual polo pitch, thankssss.
'So when are you inviting me over' the second they find out where you live
Telling guys you have a housemate cos when they find out you live alone it’s ”when can I come over 24/7. ” dis is my personal spacceee
— Tawana-Tasmine (@Tiniwana) October 22, 2017
Guys who know you’re independent are simply looking for a permanent place to crash. They’ve labeled your place as the fuckpad and you’re supposed to be okay with it. My advice? Keep your bachelorette pad a secret until he’s spent at least $100 bucks on you for dinner.
Texting IMMEDIATELY after a date
After a date the only way I'm texting you immediately is if you fangered me on the way home
— Fina Voss™ (@PoeticHeroin) September 22, 2012
We literally just spoke, so why do you have this unnerving need to text right after the date is over? I won’t miss you if you don’t even give me 5 seconds to get away from you, bro.
Saying ‘no homo’
I hate it when guys say no homo.
Your masculinity is fragile. WE GET IT!🙄
— Agent Cooper🖖🏼☕️ (@dannywiseau) July 23, 2017
It’s pretty clear that you’re on ‘no homo’ status if you’re on a date with me. Guys who have to declare they’re not gay after saying something that could be interpreted as gay is just annoying and insecure. He’s clearly homophobic if he has to make an announcement about it.
When they text…
of a sentence…
as each thought of conversation…
pops into their heads.
Guys have a tendency to send each and every thought in their little minds as a text. It’s the worst text etiquette I’ve ever seen honestly. They annoyingly blow up your phone and you’re pretty much screwed if his texts are green. Then they’re all out of order.
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