Here’s what happens when you tell every single guy you meet that he’s your ‘perfect man’
More validation that men are clueless
by Ari Bines
Whenever you're bored out of my mind after watching reruns of Black Mirror and Bad Girls Club, do yourself a favor and randomly talk to men online. I took it upon myself to spam a bunch of guys on Tinder and POF all with one message: "Wow, you're exactly my type."
After executing my experiment, I concluded that all men are just as insecure as women and they, too, enjoy fishing for complements. These are just some of the reactions I got when I falsely claimed every guy was my "perfect man."
'What exactly do you mean by that?'
This is what I mean by fishing. A lot of guys almost fought me when I wasn't being super specific when giving them a pat on the back for having a Y chromosome.
'So you're calling me ugly?'
In all my dating profiles, I have "ugly dudes only" written in my bio. I was curious to see how many suckers would fall for the plug. Unsurprisingly, nearly all of them did. One guy even asked if he still qualified.
I'm sure this was just one of his go-to tactics that he figured would make me sympathize with his ugliness, but no. He definitely did qualify.
'I'm guessing your type is tall and black'
I'm not going to lie, I was pretty offended by the Black reference considering my first-ever boyfriend was whiter than my than the ricebowl I'm currently devouring. As for the height part, I can't say it wouldn't be nice to not have to fuck someone who's the same size as all of my future children.
'Send me more pics of you'
Men are so annoyingly absent-minded that they don't even bother to ask for your first damn name. I get it, though. They're crapping their pants in terror with the risk of being catfished.
Nevertheless, the fact that they don't even have the audacity to question who they're talking to just reconfirms they'll believe anything. No wonder Catfish is on their 7th season. Men are that gullible.
Right after spamming one guy with my message, he went straight for the pet name banter. Although I'm kinda weirded out by the whole plural "babes" thing when I'm literally one person. Get that degree, kids.
'Then I think it makes sense for you to give me your number'
I have to admit, the last guy I spoke to was pretty smooth with his delivery. He let me reach out first and used my bafoonery to his own advantage.
I was in utter shock that only one guy out of the 20 dudes I spammed had any knowledge on how to flirt back. Don't get it twisted though. I'm picky as hell and don't plan on giving him my number.
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