We compared our measurements to Kim’s to see what it looks like on ‘real’ people, and it was ridiculous
Then, we photoshopped ourselves to be her size
by Una Dabiero
It's hard to conceptualize a celebrity. Pretty often, I'll go to concerts and be so fucking blown away that a famous person is standing right there in front of me, in flesh and blood. Not because they're "famous" or whatever. But because I've only seen them in pictures for so long.
I've always wondered how big the Kardashians are really. Like you can show me what Kim looks like and you can throw me some numbers, but what do those really mean? Like, I need to know what she looks like for real. Partially for science, and partially for my self-esteem.
I figured it would be fun to conduct a little experiment to figure out what Kim K. really looks like compared to normal-ass people. You know, instead of the doors or other measuring sticks I've tried to compare her to in her Instagram posts. I mean, Kim is a total sex icon. And of course her body is unattainable. But just how unattainable is it? Is she really that hot? How tiny is she compared to the average girl? How big are her tits?
I asked my co-workers to let me take their measurements, then compared them to Kim. As the last step, I decided to photoshop Kim's dimensions on them.
Of course, it looked fucking ridiculous.
Oh, and as a note to our faithful readers, we're operating under the assumption that the measurements she's given us are real and this is her god-given body.
Take that as you will.
Ok, so Kim Kardashian is 5'3'' and her measurements are…
…Bust: 34, Waist: 26, Hips: 41
Here's how our simulation went.
This is Caroline, 5’2’’, Bust: 30, Waist: 27.5, Hips: 34.5
Caroline is very small. But to look like Kim, Caro needs a slightly smaller waist, a bigger bust, wider hips, and to grow an inch. Also, she weighs the same amount that Kim claims to weigh: 120. Explain that to me.
This is Emily, 5'7'', Bust: 36, Waist: 31, Hips: 41
To look like Kim, Emily would need slightly bigger tits, a smaller waist, and to shrink 4 inches. But her hips are right on point. Yeah, that's right: Her ass is as big as Kim K's!
This is Ari, 5’10’’, Bust: 42, Waist: 39, Hips: 54
Don't tell me to stop wearing prints because I "look bigger". Today's #bodybrat post shows you (#plussize or not) on how to wear the pattern and not let the pattern wear you, girl. Link in bio cutie. 🤳🏾by @briebines . . . #bodypositive #body #bodyposi #plus #plusfashion #curvy #curves #curvyfashion #fashion #street #streetphoto #photographyislifee #plusmodel #effyourbeautystandards #cute #blackandwhitepic
To look like Kim, Ari needs to get 7 inches shorter (!!!) and get some smaller measurements. But can we take a second to appreciate the fifteen inch difference between her waist and hips?! Damn, girl!
This is Katie, 5’4’’, Bust: 29.5, Waist: 27, Hips: 38
To look like Kim K., Katie needs to shrink an itch and go up a few cup sizes (and pant sizes). But look at how much cuter she is in mom jeans IRL.
This is Eleni, 5’9’’, Bust: 37, Waist: 31, Hips: 42
Eleni has the Kim K hips on lock. But she needs to shrink by six inches and lose a few inches off her waist to look like the Crystal Gardenia queen.
This is Syra, 5'6'', Bust: 31, Waist: 26, Hips: 36
Syra is the only one in the office to have a Kim K waist. But she needs some wider hips, bigger tits, and shorter legs to look like the Kardashian.
Basically, we found out we could build Kim's body with Caroline's height, Syra's waist and Eleni's hips. But really, that would look… INSANE.
I thought I would feel a little bit better about how Kim's body after this. I figured it would answer so many questions. Like, oh! She's just really tiny and has a big ass and that's why she's so famous for it. But her proportions are truly out of this world. How is it possible to weigh 120 and have a 42" ass and D-cup tits? How is it possible to have a 15" difference between your waist and your butt?
I guess that's what makes Kim a sex icon. You literally won't find that anywhere else. Except, like, maybe with her sister, Kylie. Looks like I have another article to write.