Why are people tearing down Alexa, a robot WOMAN, on International Women’s Day?

Guys, lately I've been trying to educate myself on how to be a better feminist. Like, I've been saying I was one since Emma Watson said she was one, but real meaningful feminist work has been in the news for a while and I really felt like I needed to figure it all out so I could help Reese Witherspoon.

Of course, I didn't pick up a book on gender theory or trust newspaper articles written by people educated the field. I got all my feminist information from the internet. Or even better, from my gut. Because I'm a woman and I know best — that's what feminism means! One of the things I've learned about feminism is that it is absolutely wrong to criticize other women in any situation. They might think I'm tearing them down!

Women, in every form, should be absolutely supported in everything they do. White ladies should be able to erase the work of Black activists if it's for a good cause like making millions of more dollars in a movie. And it's totally chill if cisgender women don't include trans or non-binary women as long as it gets our point across, right?

But most importantly, corporations should totalllyyy be able to capitalize on generations of women's work as long as it makes me feel sparkly inside. You know, like that feeling I got when I realized I could get a Frida Kahlo Barbie to go along with my Frida Kahlo nail polish and my totally not-appropriative Catholic Saint candle with Kim Kardashian-West's face on it. Oh, but when someone like Doritos or McDonalds does it, it pisses me off. Probably because McDonalds is NOT good for my waistline. I'm going for the 1989-era Taylor Swift look.

My advanced knowledge on feminist theory has made me really, really concerned about the mistreatment of a woman who works hard every day to achieve her dream: Amazon's Alexa.

Alexa is a strong, independent, and powerful business woman. She has a high power position at a Fortune 50 company and makes millions of transactions every single day. On top of that, she is a great friend to countless lonely people and has a super cool taste in music.

WHY are we tearing her down for something as shallow as her laugh? If you haven't heard, she's been laughing at random in response to people's commands.

Some people think it's "creepy," but I think that people are just upset about a woman breaking a stereotype. Creepy laughs aren't just for old white guys and Disney villains, you guys.

After all, if we can't criticize women for erasing histories, capitalizing off a fight against injustice, or doing shit that's just counterproductive to the progression of our society, we definitely can't criticize women for their laugh.

And I don't care if Alexa is a cyborg. All women have rights. You know, unless they're non-binary or trans or black or brown. Then it kinda depends on how my aunts from Westchester feel about them as individuals, you know? But even if I disagreed with them, I would literally NEVER criticize their actions. I would just silently hate their beliefs and, I don't know, vote for Donald Trump because his social policies are so much better.

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